Ayatollah Hermione

Moyes is waiting by the phone.

Imagine being that bloke Having to say "No, not that one" during every phone conversation.

We wrote a letter to Spain asking if they wanted him for the World Cup Genuinely not sure there’s a bigger pack of arseholes in football

Fulham play Palace at home in their first game. He’s nailed on to score and there’ll be wet beds AOTS

Finally in talks for Rondon according to Sky. Every West Brom fan has said he’ll be a good signing with Shelvey, Ritchie and Kenedy around him so I’m looking forward to him breaking his leg in the first game

The only reason he's worth what we paid for him is because the market is ridiculously inflated

Pickford has been his club's player of the season two years off the belt and had a breakout international tournament but aye, he's shite.

It's pre-season Dan Gosling was brilliant in the 12-13 pre-season. I didn't take that as a precursor to the season ahead and I'm not going to start with an uncreative performance against a Champions League side.

27 million for that fucking donkey

CATASTROPHE is an absolute masterpiece. Genuinely laugh out loud with excellent character moments.

Potentially. But the account also posted Keith Bishop's office number today in the hope that people could ring up and ask questions about the transfer policy. Or in other words, give a poor receptionist a fucking shit day. That's not the work of a concentrated, mature movement. It's something I want no part of tbh.

I’d take a religious oligarchy at this point

If it is a genuine opinion, it’s the opinion of an idiot and a twat. It’s up to you how that makes you feel.

Think Perez’ form at the end of last year means he has to start the opening games, at least

As an aside, I read that Jeff Bezos is worth 140 billion. No human on earth should have that much money, it's fucking obscene.

Fair play, you don't fuck about. Hear about it once and then 5 hours later, it's polished off.

All the best with it, mate.

Oh fucking hell, he's watched Zeitgeist.

Then retweet the catch-all account for it? Use the hashtag? The SackPardew website was a fantastic example of what they should be doing, not letters to the editor in fanzines that nobody reads anymore.

Nice kid but people writing self-important letters to Mike Ashley that they expect people to read because they have a few followers on Twitter is getting beyond embarrassing.

Aye, we had to fight for months for a 2% raise last year and because of that, they're refusing to entertain the idea of a raise this year AND they're lowering the sick pay and removing retirement rundowns Great, this country atm.

Anyone been watching Mortimer and Whitehouse's fishing program? Two likeable, funny blokes being funny together.

If he's as lethal as Perez was in the back end of last season, I'll be happy with that. On the surface, Schar seems an improvement on Clark, Muto is an improvement on Gayle (you'd hope) and Rondon is better than Joselu so, it could be worse but once more, they weren't first choice and "slight improvements" are about the best we can hope for. Not good enough, really.

One of those players who you can watch a load of and still have no idea if he’s good or not

You're probably getting the better deal since Gayle is lethal in the Championship. He got 23 league goals for us and he missed about 15 games through injury. I've no doubt he'd have smashed through 30 in our set-up. He's always moving and comes alive around the six-yard box with a proper finisher's instinct. Can sometimes be a bit wasteful but there was games in our promotion season where he'd be quiet and still come away with a brace. I'd rather you were getting Joselu, put it that way.