Ayatollah Hermione

Not really, I'll be doing it when Rafa goes. As it goes, I think he'll be the difference, especially if we can become consistent at the back like we showed during last year's good run(s). It seems like we're having some positive movement on transfers too but every time the stories start popping up, they quickly go very quiet so it's hard to get too optimistic on that front.

Here's a headline for you to skim MAN DISCOVERS THREE SYLLABLE WORDS

Based on the previous decade, an underwhelming new striker and potentially Bryan is your whack

It’s time to bring out the VERTICAL FARMS! Less land space needed and we pack the crops high as the sky. Cows and sheep on the second floor and then the bottom floor acts as a farmers market. Come on, the government. Stop pissing about with the Jews and get on this

Everything has to be with an eye on decent veggie menus since I’ve, somehow, ended up with a defective one so I’ll be staying away from the gorgeous, tender meat, slathered in delicious gravy for one weekend and tapas sounds like a good shout to me.

Is she interested in renting it out on the cheap sometime in September? Asking for a friend

It’s like you’ve known me all my life. And I’ll be able to find some cheap place to stay, even if it’s an Air BnB and wor lass has to kip in the bath. Cheers chaps, Keswick sounds good to me.

Anyone got any Lake District recommendations? Just after a weekend away, have some decent scran, some pubs, just a relaxing time but not really sure where TO stay i.e. Penrith, Keswick and on it goes. Who's been where? I know people have talked about this before but I'd like an answer that didn't contain CTs drivel, if possible.

"Found this on the train" Aye, I'm sure you did, mate.

This is all very admirable, I suppose but for all good that will do, you might as well shout random abuse at St James when you drive past it

Signing the bloke that they got rid of to make space for Mbemba. Fuck me, you couldn't make it up.

Got his Mam stuffed after she died and she sits on a chair in the corner. He takes it upstairs with him when he goes to sleep

Deliberating on activating the release cause for Fabian Schaer or however it’s pronounced. Swiss Centre half who looked decent at the World Cup. And you’ll never believe that we’re in two minds over whether his THREE MILLION POUND release cause is worth it or not

just filling in for Stevie when he goes a bit Begbie

Looks like even the President of the United States gets the dread on a Sunday night.

If that's no an omen for a good season then I don't know what is.

My mate has just been with his lass and it looked nice on Instagram if that's any help

WHO'S CHEST? WAR CHEST

A mad mix of 60s soul, funk, psychedelic and tropicalia.

Fuck me, who do this lot think they're fooling?

Was at a talk-in with Rob Lee and John Beresford and they basically said that, while Peacock was a good centre half, in an ideal world, it would have been Des Walker or Tony Adams (the exact players they named) because the nature of our team meant we were susceptible to counters and Peacock, being last man back, had to read the game perfectly and meet it head on. Basically, in their words, he was good but not quite good enough for what we needed at the top of the table. Actually, I think their exact words were "Darren needed to be our best player but he was our worst" Not meaning it as an insult to him, just that the rest of the side was brilliant.

If we do stay up (and it's a big if, even with Rafa IMO), you can see Ashley thinking he can coast by in the PL with loans and freebies tbh. We finished fifth by a stroke of good fortune and he didn't move off that until Carver had us staring into the abyss and by that point, it was too late to course correct. He done the same with his pissing about at the start of his tenure as well, really. The bloke is a serial gambler who never learns from his mistakes. If he wasn't a billionaire, he'd be pissing wages away in the bookies and given an intervention on Jeremy Kyle

I understand why he'd try and stay here for the final year because he's not going to get anywhere near his current wage when he does move but fuck me, what a cunt. Parasite is right

Spending good money on a world class manager, only to have him battling relegation every year, might honestly be the stupidest thing we’ve ever done. And think of the ground that covers