Ayatollah Hermione

By all accounts, he was the only one who showed anything decent toward the end of last season.

Ye. Definitely opening up as he gets older. Also, 070 Shake has ripped Marina Diamandis' vocal style wholesale and it's annoying me.

I’m looking forward to the Augsburg game so Tom and I can rekindle the massively pissed day we had with some Germans when we played Gladbach

Ross doesn’t know his budget either. It would be a terrible shame if The Don and his pals are massive chancers

As an aside, has this mad old cunt bumped off Melania? What do we reckon?

If he wins 10 matches, he becomes Marco Gold

Thought that said “puffter” there. Still couldn’t disagree, like

It begins.

Ta, I'll use some combo of that, AllMusic and Metacritic

Had a list of albums from this year to get through on my phone that I've accidentally deleted so does anyone have an obscenely detailed release list from around the beginning of April?

Flogged some tickets on there and it was sound for me. Never bought any but I got the money through quickly and I think they handled it all

Wait until the press see Harry Kane’s “Hitler was Right” tattoo

Bet he says hello every time he passes a mirror

Bit more casual dress though. It's why I always keep a plaid shirt in the wardrobe.

The girth to length ratio has to be spot on. Or cock on, if you will.

Aye but that'll all become readily apparent to them when the club organise a competition for a lucky fan to mow the pitch to save money

This new owner is absolutely the type of bloke who will be seen down the club shop, printing names on the back of new tops to show that everyone is mucking in. They're going to be run like a destitute non-league club that values "community" and I, for one, can't wait.

Howay then, give me the takes about him being a better manager than Rafa. I need it. Hook it to my veins

Our owners must be the only people who believe words are stronger than actions

Michael Martin is certainly fucking miserable and pious enough to be a mackem anyway

I'm not surprised; it's the first time that those small-time losers have come to any sort of world class talent in about 20 years

If I was Villa, I’d let him go. What kind of self-important bairn goes on like Terry has? Get rid of his wages and look for a centre half who isn’t finished to put in your side

As an aside, remember their Invest in Africa sponsorship debacle?

Kali Uchis - Isolation Genre-hopping modern pop music that's well recommended if you enjoy the likes of Janelle Monae and enjoying yourself

Fuck me, you're hard work