Ayatollah Hermione

The only reason I'm hoping for Coleman to get the sack is so I can see what nickname the new lad will get.

Who was on about DPD again? They continue to be fucking useless. Been sitting by the door all day only to be told that they tried to deliver and I wasn't in. They give you a 12 hour delivery window and they still can't manage it. Beyond hopeless.

I've give up with Kodi for TV/Movies now tbh. In the time it takes me to fuck on with everything, I could just torrent what I'm after, watch it in VLC and send it to the telly via USB. My sporting service (which I think Gemmill uses as well) has just switched around for the better though so it's ideal for that.

pfft, get a proper After Burner cabinet

All the major ones, big dog. Your PS4s, your Xbox Ones, your Switchs and your personal computers.

My grandad used to play Duke Ellington and that Harry Nilsson album where he covers all the jazz standards. No wonder I’m such a poncey arsehole.

I’m with Virgin and it’s sound 90% of the time but, like NJS says, when it drops, it drops like a stone. What’s worse is they’ll go through their little troubleshooting sheet every single time, even when it’s been established it isn’t anything on there that’s the issue. Also, our area had a “fault” that was fixed one week and then they were back out to fix it again I.e. one of their engineers fucked up and they had to scramble an excuse together.

If it’s loony to eat out your lass then lock me up, Doc!

Aye because he's too fucking unfit to finish a full 90.

Spending £36 million after coming up ffs What a tight bastard.

Talk about Mitrovic not getting chances is bollocks. You can half let him off for his first season as a young kid settling into England but he started 20+ games last season and scored 4 goals. And a run of games was going to see him score more this year? We have a far less talented team than the one that was setting him up last time too, meaning he'd have to work twice as hard to create his chances. Something he quite clearly refuses to do because he's a cart horse. Joselu being crap does not make Mitrovic good. There's a reason we've had to go and beg for a lend of a £30 million striker for a few month.

He was head and shoulders above Merino and not even sure how that's disputable. As for the match, it's becoming more and more frustrating when we simply cannot finish chances. Not sure I've ever seen owt like Joselu, every single shot is a scuff. How many is that he's missed now and how many points has it cost? As always, the blame lands at Ashley for only sanctioning 5 million quid for a striker but fuck me, some of the chances he's missed. Anyway, thought we were well worthy of three points there but we basically gave them every chance to come back into it and fair play, they did. It seemed that as soon as Joselu missed that one-on-one, Burnley collectively went "Right, we'll get something here" and we collectively went "Oh, fucking hell, we're fucked" They had height, strength and pace off the bench and how damning is it that we can't even offer that off the bench? It was ugly but against tired minds and legs, it works. Especially against a team whose confidence is pretty much shot and needs a strong win on Saturday. Diame was, and has been, excellent; he was making tackles, finding the kinds of passes that Shelvey does and was covering for a lot of Merino's fuck ups until he tired late on. Kenedy looks promising; good left foot, always has his head up and can whip a corner in. Hopefully he can find Lascelles/Clark/Slimani as the season goes on. Atsu looked injured to me, either that or he couldn't be arsed. Dummett had another solid game defensively but whenever he tries to actually play football, it's canny embarrassing. He definitely needs to stick to the back half of the pitch and let Kenedy and Perez cover the attacking down that side. In all, another one where you leave thinking that we had to try harder to lose it than win. And after all that, we actually ended this game week higher than we started We could well fluke our way to safety yet.

Just got round to getting this and all the remixes of previous stages are so good, right down to the remixed themes. The final boss of Chemical Plant is you playing Dr Robotnik's Mean Bean Machine against the man himself and when getting there, you hear this music I mean, listen to that. It's fucking incredible.

I really hope we sing "Islam's on Fire! Your defence is terrified"

The shooter was white so of course he was mentally ill. Fuck me.

The money was there, regardless of selling Gayle or not. He’s just tighter than a jockey’s coffin.

I fancy us tonight, oddly enough. I remember we got a good result against Man United last time around after we unveiled Shelvey and Townsend before the game. Players playing for their place, new blood in the changing room, Kenedy a player that these didn’t play against last time. Fancy Ritchie to score if he plays. He’s well overdue.

Reckon Slimani is quite clearly the best we could have got (him or Sturridge). At least on loan anyway and him having a knock is the kind of thing that you get when you leave it last minute. If he can get 5/6 (quite a big ask, I know) and Gayle/Joselu/Perez/Atsu and co can chip in what they have so far, that genuinely might be enough. I’ve no idea if this keeper is the kind that could win us points with shot stopping or penalty saves or things of that ilk but I’ve had about enough of the two idiots we’re rotating now so I welcome him. The tightness of the league makes this all seem like a gargantuan task but the fact everyone is taking points off each other makes it the opposite IMO. Don’t we have the best, or one of, record against sides around us? We continue that and we’ll probably find ourselves sitting around where we are now.

How are we still in 15th? Not sure any results have went for us in about 4 weeks.

The new Ty Segall album is fantastic. A heady mix of everything he's dipped his toes in until now - late 60s garage rock, lo-fi indie, psychedelic jams and pop, 70s glam, the touches of metal. Seems like the first time he's drawn everything together into a fantastic whole. Also, this cover of Hot Chocolate

Is Sturridge's "geographical reasons" a euphemism for "Wants to get pissed with his old schoolmates" like the time Bellamy moved to Cardiff?

CT, I am a Nigerian prince with a fortune to give away to one lucky man. Our records indicate you are perfect for this as they show you’ll believe any old shit if it’s pertaining to something you don’t understand properly. For this, I will need your account number and sort code for this lucky day of happy fortune and good times.

MUMSNET STRIKES AGAIN

Why would Leicester be arsed about Slimani going to a struggling Premier League club? Can’t see it effecting them when their season is basically done already.