Ayatollah Hermione

Especially when you looked at the fixtures on paper and they seemed to be quite favourable.

"And behind door number two is....MORE CUTS TO THE POLICE!"

Speaking of which, Klopp has told Sturridge he can go out on loan since he wants to go to the World Cup. If there's a more obvious signing we should be trying to make, I haven't seen it. I'd be on the phone to them now. Knowing us, his knee will explode on the 1st of February, like.

It was fantastic to see De Bruyne score straight after that tackle as well. Serves the little cunt right and I'm sure De Bruyne will keep that in his mind come June. What's the crack with David Silva anyway? Twitter has given me about 15 different rumours, none of them good.

If Palace can lose the first TEN games and get on a run of form, we can drag ourselves out of the shit with the right signings. Over to you, Mike.

While getting beat 1-0 is the same result as getting beat 5-0, I actually came out of that thinking we could easily get the points we need if we play like we did second half. The goal was a moment of genuine quality that you can't whinge too much about. He'd have scored that goal past Man City, never mind us but we limited them pretty well. Other than that mental chip Lacazette tried, I can't remember them breaking our lines or forcing Elliott into decent saves and, it's clear now, you can put that all down to Lascelles coming back in. I thought he was excellent yesterday. Never missed a header, was stepping out to deal with danger well and continued to look a threat from set-pieces (on the odd occasion we actually put the ball in the box). I think, last 20 minutes, we genuinely had them rattled. All it needed was for Ritchie to connect with his effort better, Perez to steer his header on target, Cech done well to parry Murphy's shot away from Joselu. Basically, that terrible combination of luck and lack of quality that plagued us on Wednesday night. As it stands though, it's clear that we're in that dodgy middle ground between being too good for the Championship and not good enough for the Premier League. You can get away with a few players who are adapting to the leap in quality when you have 4-5 experienced heads guiding the team along. Unfortunately for us, we basically have a team full of them and they're learning pretty sharpish that one fuck-up or one moment of quality is enough to completely undo the organisation and game plan you have. I think this is a side working their bollocks off for the manager who, while not free from criticism (some of his subs especially), is probably getting the best out of them. You can see that he can expose weaknesses in the teams we play and the personnel are doing exactly what he's telling them to, they just don't have the consistent quality to pull it off.

Heard a great Ryder story the other day actually. Basically, he always has his predicted line-ups when he's doing match previews and for, I think, Watford or Man United, one of the two, he put Dummett in at left-back, even when Rafa had come out and said he wasn't fit enough to play. So, one of the junior writers changed it to Manquillo to avoid their chief sports writer looking like a buffoon and published it. Apparently when Ryder found out, he kicked off big style asking why they'd changed it until someone pointed out Rafa's pre-match quotes, which Ryder had quoted in his preview, that pointed to Dummett not playing I'll try and remember some more but that one is double verified.

Probably from repeated kicks up the arse.

My hair is short and sweet now. A bit like your remaining time on Earth.

Every time I've seen Arsenal, they've looked quite toothless until Giroud comes on and then they look like a different proposition so I fully expect him to start and have us done by half time. Dummett is back though so hopefully he sends one of their little fannies into the stands with a chest high lunge.

Happy belated, Gemmill. You meff

Christ, not saw the Conet Project for years. I used to put it on and pretend it was on a submarine.

The disdain in their eyes

Those performance enhancers he chucks down their necks work well, mind.

Stick with me, lads. You’ll not go far wrong

Back to 4-5-1 tonight, I'd say.

Turns out the "trick" to this one is to FLIP THE MAZE UPSIDE DOWN and ping the ball about until it randomly lands where it needs to. That's not the official solution, it's just some way that people have got around it. Did they let the glue sniffers design this one?

How many of these shrines involve the motion controls because good fuck, they are the most unintuitive I've ever handled in my life. That's using the controller grip and the tablet itself. Which way is up? That's literally all it has to tell me but I can do the same thing twice and have two different results.

All sounds good to me, cheers. I'll treat myself to that and a decent amp in the New Year.

He's bound to find work as Uncle Fester in some haunted house somewhere.

Fucking hell, man. Obviously, you can't verify but it would have taken wills of steel from Rafa not to fuck that right off.

They're shit, they're cunts and most importantly, they're shit cunts. 4-0 with Stavaz kegging Rooney at half time.

He's bringing the magic sponge.

@Tom Got a link handy for that Squier Mustang, my brother? After a cheap electric after years of playing acoustics so I can finally fuck about with pedals and make a right racket.

This got a remaster and, while being undeniably naff, it has an all-star backing cast from track to track. Daryl Hall, Graham Nash, Kenny Loggins ( ) so from those three names, you know what you're getting but if you're into immaculate arrangements and the recent re-interest in West Coast Pop/Yacht Rock, get on it.