Ayatollah Hermione

It's less what he's saying and more why he's saying it. Rather than call a meeting with Rafa and give him assurances/clarification, he's run to Sky like a bairn.

He's shown no understanding of anything really, other than how to stop momentum dead in it's tracks at a moment's notice. He's like a human brick wall.

https://twitter.com/MsiDouglas/status/896017441607823363 Stupidity of the highest calibre

What's largely concerning me are two things from that: 1. It's a bit worrying that he's (probably) done this interview as a reaction to Rafa's repeated comments throughout the window which just continues to show that he's a big bairn who can't do two things right in a row. If this is going to end up with Rafa and Ashley throwing mud at each other indirectly in interviews, then it helps nobody and it's never going to end well. 2. Why is he mentioning £200 million cheques? There's no chance Rafa has asked for it, nobody expects us to spend that so who is he actually talking to? Once more, there's a middle ground between penny pinching and flagrant spending that he just doesn't understand. He gave Allardyce a fortune and it didn't work so he's give nobody else anything, regardless of the circumstances. In the grand scheme, there's still players hanging around who refuse to take pay cuts to sign for Dinamo Binbag or whoever and that's a problem but it's a problem that Ashley's control has caused! Handing off money to Graham Carr to sign sub-par shite on big money that were always going to hang about like a bad smell. They're problems Rafa has inherited and he's absolutely right to be pissed off that less is being done about getting rid of them. What grates is that Ashley, whenever he speaks, doesn't appear to have any grasp on anything past the here and now. There's never been long-term thinking, it's always been whimsical decisions and they've nearly always been stupid. Granted, this isn't as bad as appointing Joe Kinnear or giving Dennis Wise control over transfers but it similarly helps nothing and will probably only piss Rafa off when he's trying to keep us in the league.

Sounds like this lot are booting right off ATM. A nice protest by letting us win 4-0 would be canny of them

Why did the bloke fall down the well? He didn't see that well

Versatility, innit. Rafa's total football. I haven't got a clue about this kid except for that China caper but you have to hope that they actually see something in him and it's not a case of taking anyone for the warm body

Are Tottenham's players shit scared of Newcastle United? Well, with the frequency that they're making themselves scarce ahead of Sunday, you'd have to think so, Jeff

Also, Zidane doesn't count since he's basically playing with the cheats on at Real Madrid

I know, what the fuck are you on about, Fish? There isn't even a synonym for "lucky" strong enough to describe how we are to have him. Handling the upheaval of last summer and getting us up first time of asking was a pretty massive task when you look back on it, even if he did rustle up money to spend on Gayle and Ritchie. You'd have to be pretty spot on to pull that off and that's just for starters

Trump is desperate to obliterate something with a nuke before he eventually keels over/gets booted out. I mean, it's hard wired into most Americans anyway but you can tell that he's so insecure, that being the second President to make that call would be some validation. He's probably furious that he wouldn't be the first so he'll do a double drop, just so his atrocities can live on longer than the first time. "I nuked the world TWICE! The biggest loss of life in a single hour EVER. INCREDIBLE!"

an incredibly niche reference there

Aye, it's a load of hypotheticals based on absolutely nowt but pre standing biases which is all this forum has been during the transfer window

That Taylor article is a total parcel of shite. Reading that, the only thing you know is that Newcastle United is a club that exists and building an article around Ashley seems dangerous when she's proven she hasn't got a fucking clue what goes on up here

Comedy Dave, all is forgiven

Always a laugh seeing the Spurs fans on Twitter writing this one off. A bit of self deprecation you wouldn't expect after seeing the likes of Danny B around these parts.

And now it's time for Alan's Funny Story.

I like how Townsend is apparently free to leave Palace but these reckon they turned down £10 million for him They must let the work experience lads do the Sunday stories.

Caught a bit of that. Every time he passed a camera, he was pulling some kind of face or pose. If any of the other lads can get anywhere near him, they should trip him up.

Thought they actually looked decent in the second half but they were pretty woeful at the back and you can see the better teams in the league picking them off. They didn't bring any subs on either so either he's not confident in the bench or they're all players who want to leave. Not sure they have the depth for a full season. Mind you, Martin wants shot with shit for missing that chance. Then Nugent went and bollocked up as soon as he came on. Sell the pair of them.

That ball with the outside of his foot on Wednesday is all the proof I need. I'm seeing some Stoke fans sounding upset about Joselu leaving so maybe he's not all shite?

Chemtrails. Wolfy isn't affected because he hasn't left the house in 15 years

Talk about your Grammar Nazis!!!

Why do people think this? They're locked into another 4 years of paying for the daft cunt, do people think we'd just let them off for the other £24 million if he was a flop?

Anyone hear about that Japanese Journey tribute act that only plays funerals? They call themselves Don't Stop Bereaving