Ayatollah Hermione

I'm not that grumpy yet. When I hit 30, aye. cheers, everyone. I'm away for the weekend so try not to burn anything to the ground and put the washing on the line.

The Handless Organist was the one I was looking for but I couldn't remember the name of it Truly, a miracle of God.

Mintaz, we doing album covers now? Nee biftaz in site here though.

Can't say I'm arsed about one of our players getting called up for England (especially so soon into his time here) but the reaction from some of the mackems has been tremendous. Cattermole's head will be hanging in his shorts.

Then you can leave them there to build character. Put a shotgun in an anthill and pull the trigger.

I have no response.

Did you happen to see a bloke that looked a bit LIKE a gruffalo? That was CT

Yes, that's the literal definition of good business.

Man United looking distinctly shite. Plodding and lacking in ideas. The Mackems looking better in all areas tbh.

It's a shame for Celtic that their players would jump to literally any team in the Premier League if given the chance.

Can't see Tiote leaving for the reasons Alex was talking about in the other thread tbh. If it's anyone, I can see it being Yanga-Mbwia (possibly on loan) so they can get that kid from Celtic in.

5-1 as well. Would be even funnier if Damien Duff still played for them. I see Leeds got battered as well. Who'd have thought a Conference manager might be out of his depth?

Gouffran is completely ineffective in his favoured positions (out wide and up front) so Pardew decides to put him in central midfield rather than drop him You couldn't make it up with Pardew tbh. The problem I have with bedding in players is that I don't trust Pardew to do it and change the style to suit the players. He'll shoe-horn them into his system which is completely ineffective and has been for 2 years now, a brief period with an inspired Cabaye aside. And that was the issue with today's game; aye, the players need to settle (and that's a valid point) but it was the same style and set-up we had last year and he's going to have Cabella out wide, Sissoko out wide, an isolated striker up top, a lot of hoofing, no movement etc. It just doesn't work. Cabella needs to toughen up as well. He'll be identified as a creative, tricky player and defenders will clatter him about. There's no point staying down and whinging about it.

I think it's us that's the problem tbh

fair enough, that one is canny funny.

Completely forgot about that as I'd had a drink last night. I suppose that's keeping with the theme of the piece. class. I love looking at my dad's photos from his away days in the 80s just for the clip of the taches sported by him and his mates. Toon tops tucked into jeans and all sorts Stylish buggers.

Was a young bairn through Keegan and when Robson left, I was only 14 so let me tell you how tremendous the period from 2009-2012 was supporting us as a student with disposable income. The season we were in the Championship, I was at Sunderland Uni and in a wonderful, loving relationship. In between getting tickets while I could for home games, I was away in Scotland, finding dodgy streams of Justin what's-his-tits on Century Radio and trying not to wake wor lass as Joey Barton scored a free kick against Plymouth. I remember where I was when Jose Enrique scored against Forest; standing in the Gallowgate, valiantly flicking the V's at the Forest fans in the upper tier. They had beat us in the autumn and we had fucking well come back and showed them that we were bouncing back up. Then, we came up, full of piss and wind and we beat Villa 6-nowt, Carroll was ripping the bollocks off everyone he faced and as this was going on, I was out 4 nights a week, getting rat arsed and enjoying my student life. Then, it happened. We TWATTED Sunderland 5-1 and that was it. I was buying trebles, shots, cocktails, the lot as the season went on and it just kept going from there. When Hughton was sacked, I didn't even believe it because I'd spent the 24 hours previous getting mortal with a group of students from Angola who fed me dodgy whiskey until 7 in the morning and the lady of the group kept trying to stir my knackers into life. Sadly for here, that was a fool's errand after the drink she plied me with. Anyway, Pardew came and things were alreet and then in 2011/12, we suddenly started looking decent. There was a mackem in my local pub who was saying things like "You know, it's all John Carver pulling the strings" and "That Ben Arfa, he's injury prone though, isn't he?" gigantic mackem bullshit aside, I was a 21 year old man who was watching my beautiful side give teams hidings. We'd go down to Blackburn and Ryan Taylor and Obertan would get our goals and I'd drink to that. We'd beat Man United 3-0 and I'd end up in The Gate, telling a lass my postcode so she could ring a taxi for us. We'd spend an entire Easter period unbeaten and I'd watch us win every game, getting more and more wrecked as time went on, barely denting my student loan. Cisse was scoring ridiculous goal after ridiculous goal, Pardew seemed like a decent bloke and every weekend was an exercise in celebratory joy. So, even though we won nowt and everything went south with Pardew soon after, that period, where I was a carefree student with money to burn and my team gave me 3 good seasons off the trot was the finest time I can remember. Aye, we won nowt and really, fifth in isolation means nothing but at the time, it felt like the dawn of a brand new Newcastle. I realise now it was the drink but fuck me, Hatem, Ba and Cisse up front. Cabaye free kicks. Shola bicycle kicks, Nolan hat tricks, Peter Lovenkrands winning me £150, I'll look back on it all fondly. Aye, we never got close to winning the league and aye, a lot of it is "look at this student waller not working" but fuck me, what a time to be a lazy scruff and what a time to watch us right some bastard wrongs.

20 million for Welbeck Got Pardew written all over it that transfer. Probably desperately sending Youtube links to Graham Carr.

I'd be worried if we lost Tiote because I think we look a bit "soft" without him. Colback seems like he'll get stuck in but often Sissoko and Anita don't put the tackles in as you'd like. Sissoko especially, for the size of him, is a bit of a fanny.

This is probably funnier than owt at the Fringe

This has gotten a lot better now that the environments have brightened up a bit. This one looks like it's going back to gun metal grey and black though. Joy. Diablo 3 is excellent btw. Played the 360 version last year and had a good time with it. I remember the loot being such that you can find one or two weapons early on that kick the tits off everything up until the end game, if you're lucky. It's also a bit on the easy side on the regular difficulty so I'd bump it up.

The new Wolfenstein. Stealth is somewhere between difficult and fucking well impossible when you consider that the enemies are the same colour as every other thing in the area.

Exactly. And Pardew is the perfect gaffer for that kind of football team because he's fucking useless and will manage to lose games that we should be able to ride out. See, Cardiff last season. Not to mention the collapses at Brighton.

What's in the shampoo, Parkster? Residue from chemtrails that stop you from seeing through the government's lies?