Ayatollah Hermione

Luckily for The Beatles, they went through 85% of the British female population between 1962 and 1968 so McCartney and Ringo will be long dead by the time the police narrow it down.

Sgt Peppers is great value. Where else do you get £2.50 Black Russians and the very best of the 1970s, in both music and decor? Nowhere, that's where.

He needs to realise this is an internet forum, not his fucking summer holiday scrapbook.

Didn't even read past this tbh. EDIT: a ham sandwich. fuck me.

I can't wait for this cunt to fuck off.

I see Pardew is saying all the wrong things as usual so I expect us to be cautious as owt, concede an early goal and then spend the rest of the game desperately trying to undo the damage before conceding a second after 84 minutes to finish us off.

Just the three bottles of Shiraz tonight?

As the topic title says.

Good crack, Stevie. Saw the pic on Twitter and that scar looks nasty, mind. You might have to start wearing a wooly hat.

Comes round as a full-blown Mackem, "You Geordies. Your wank lot didn't come about until 92"

Of course you do. Can you remember your own name for having a head filled with shit about Sunderland?

Champions league football and a comparable wage packet elsewhere, even if it was in a place like Turkey, Russia etc.

Aye, that's what makes him even worse. If he was just shite, that would be fine (which he definitely is) but it's wrapped up in this parcel of twattishness. What narks me the most is that he always kiss arses back into the side as well, as seen in pre-season. Thankfully, his comedy routine against Malaga shot that down. The Cardiff celebration It can't be a serious reaction. I know he's thick but to have absolutely no self-awareness about Cardiff's relegation in a situation like that is ridiculous. He played right back well before that though, Phil. Think Roeder played him there.

Getting expensive, I know that much. Some of the newer places are alreet: DATBar is canny enough but not tried a lot of them yet because the cocktail places seem to especially attract a ton of arseholes trying to tap up lasses. Newcastle nightlife is definitely something that's still good to people outside the area but when you've been to a lot of the places more than once, the novelty wears right off. Those craft places like Brew Dog will definitely live on though since there's always plenty of pretentious arseholes who'll refuse to drink lager That Lola Jeans is going to be where The Godfather was btw.

Sir Cliff likes to keep the skulls of his victims on a shelf in the conservatory.

Did anyone see that lad go arse over tit in the Steeplechase btw? Was a full on fall as well, head cracking off the floor and all sorts and the commentator just says "Well, he's done that before" The Stan Laurel of running.

Like one of the Coneheads looking in a magic mirror.

He already has, it's just the one thing he's left out in his little diary.

I think Townsend is canny but aye, they'd want a canny bit for him since he's young and has been around the England team. Out of them, I'd bet Pardew is desperate for Dawson btw. I can see us being linked with Capoue considering the Tiote rumours too.

In seriousness, I recommend you get Facebook.

CT, listen to me. I've seen modern decoration before. I've seen a full English breakfast. Just because you lived in some kind of chicken and chips bubble for 43 years doesn't mean everyone else did.

CT, pack it in.

Owt that keeps him off the telly is only a good thing.

The Turkish Second Division ffs. He must have the shittest agent in the world. He could have swanned about Australia or Dubai with no bother.

Parky took them to be relegated, proving that his powers of precognition are on a steep decline, if you ask me.