Dazzler

Sunak will declare war on Russia and Iran on the 29th May to prevent all this happening.

Or I have....

Tory rebels are preparing a vote of no confidence because they aren't happy with the rumoured election

Not unless you were after a needle stick injury.

It's a samba reveal party "Aren't they beautiful, Jeremy?"

It definitely smells like an election is coming. All of the ministers are cancelling plans etc. Hunt was meant to be on ITV at 9 o clock tonight and he's binned it for this important meeting.

That's the criminal offence the first person on the boat to Australia committed back in the day. "Look at the new shoes I've invented, I call them thongs" "Shackle the cunt and get him on the boat."

I know mate, it's the fucking flip flops that come in gold. Pisses me right off.

"For all stations to South Shields please change at the next station, Khashoggi was a grass."

Is it too soon to say he reminds me of one of these bad boys from a 90s butlins gift shop?

And south hylton metro station is demolished and replaced with a massive mosque / gay and lass stoning station.

Let's not get carried away but.....

Paid for their new trains under the condition that all metro and bus stop signage is changed to black and white.

Kylo Ren with his home made lightsaber that didn't work properly . I think he worked as a gen z antagonist, in that his main power was that he was a fucking whinging bastard.

He's still saying second half of the year when pressed at PMQ's. Technically that's any day after the 30th June so doesn't really clear anything up, which is standard Sunak.

The lad saying N-O having a mackem thread with 800+ pages proves how obsessed the mags are with them was a belter for me, as was the one sane mackem in the thread pointing out that it was set up years ago, and 800 pages isn't that much over that time frame. I wonder how many collective pages dedicated to the mighty mags they've parsnipped over the years. Bet it eclipses 800 pages Getting mad at a sign is hilarious though, it's been a while since I went on a metro but once upon a time the metro signs for stops were in red font so I wonder when nexus changed their allegiances .

There were rumours they were in for Howe and he knocked them back because we're fucking massive. Also, I think they wanted Tuchel to stay (again from random rumours), but he was after getting his massive forehead clean out of dodge.

Put the remaining tories on a small boat with a slow puncture and push them out into the channel. Give them some trumpets and violins they can play as they slowly sink into the water

This gadgy needs to understand that all of those things are set up because the takes on RTG are so bat shit insane that they have to be shared across multiple platforms so that they can be mocked on a scale that their insanity deserves. It's not just toon fans that tear RTG to shreds. It's a national laughing stock.

Or if someone snaps the twerps neck first.

Yeah, pretty much. All of the 'work' they've done (really the bank of England is the real cause of inflation decreases) will be undone in an instant and labour will begin with their government trying to repair that damage all the while the tories will pull the "what are you doing about the economy?" card.