Dazzler

It was a blatant dive tbf

They paid for most of it, marra. Or something like that.

I have no problem with Liverpool players that deserve to be there. I just can’t think of any at the minute. If I never have to see Arnold out of position over hitting a pass again he’s an upgrade on the last two hacks that lead the national team.

Count me out. I’m expanding at a greater rate than the universe.

Nothing screams “nuclear family dad” more than an awkward looking, malnourished specky bloke on a velour bedspread inappropriately groping a cat.

Neither me or my wife are on FB anymore. The only thing I’m on now is LinkedIn and only then whenever I am job hunting so once every few years or so. It got to a point as an adult that I began to hate the people I love the most because of the utter shit they post on social media so I came off it around Covid. I use TikTok but only to watch videos of old people falling over. Or dogs and cats tormenting their idiot owners. Coming off the major socials is still the best thing I did in the last few years. I’m hoping that neither of us being on it will help our kids grasp how shit it actually is.

"Heya Robocop, marra. Can aah gerra picksheh wiv yeh? D'yeh like me Sun'lin shirt, it's one of the reg vardey ones from back in the day, tha dinnit mak them like theyse anymore. Aah saw a mag in his shirt before and aah made sheweh to mock him forrit coz it's compleytely different to me deeyin it, innit Robbey mate? Worra yeh crying for Bob? Overcome with emotion beyn in the presence of a massive lads fan, coz yeh love Sun'lin and hate beheddie and the barcodes? Pleasheh meytn yeh Robert, mate. Enjoy yeh flight."

They care so much more than us marra, and here is an excerpt from my proper long textbook on the subject available at all good boot sales, and perfect for roach paper.

They actually count that result within their x in a row too just to drive home how much they absolutely don’t sweat the small stuff when it comes to the barcodes.

So basically you ripped off the re-formatted British Top Gear? Shit Actor - Paddy McGuinness Sports Twat - Freddie Flintoff Car Twat - The other bloke. Your sports bloke is about to get jigsawed for Aussie entertainment.

Absolutely not - Southgate has to get it. Southgate at club level is hilariously bad. Allardyce would probably win them a league cup along with a top twelve finish and we'd quite literally never hear the end of it - from him or his pals in the press - even after he gets the bullet. Southgate relegates them.

In short, no I don't think they could have. It would have been pushed as a "Corbyn Manifesto" and absolutely shat on by all quarters of the press - Starmer would have gotten the Corbyn treatment as a result. The safety first approach was absolutely vital to winning the election because a) they had to get the fence sitting centrists over to their side and b) they had no idea of the state of the economy heading into power (because the tories had hidden so much of their shit). To expand on point A - A more radical socialist manifesto would have been no different to a facist reform one in the eyes of the people sat in the middle. We'd probably have a lib dem government now had Labour pushed a more left leaning manifesto.

The football is going to be a Southgate level of gash to watch. Klopp 2.0 he is not - despite him being touted as such early in his career. That being said, he'd not shit the bed if he leads us to a major final, and would set up a team to win even if it is 1-0 and fucking turgid. Tuchel would have at least won the covid Euros - I am certain of that.

As someone who grew up watching Top Gear on a Sunday night I find this deeply and personally offensive - because it's true.

They drew him after a stroke, but Ginola had a massive heart attack. That’s a shame, it’s was really good otherwise.

Win win for him really. If he’s class it’s a masterstroke and he’s a genius. If he’s shite he’s a German cunt that made us shit on purpose because of the wars.

A German managing England is going to trigger so many little Englander cunts. I'm all for it.

Telling someone, "wey at least you'll lose a few clem, wor kid" whilst they are mid-health crisis and being stretchered out is peak trump tbf.

Given their treatment of Ten Hag I am willing to bet they made him do it by dangling a post it with Tuchel's phone number on it in his face.

I’d rather have someone say we can’t do xyz because we’re skint. A Corbyn type manifesto would have had to have been massively walked back on and they would be slammed as liars - this would have been true of Corbyn too, no way he’s delivering those promises when the economy is bollocksed. The big claim of change was down to competence, something in short supply in government in the last decade. So far so good in that respect IMO.

If it was solid black stripes I'd like it. It looks daft otherwise.