Dazzler

He gets away with it because he immediately stands up and wipes his crack with a dock leaf. So they think he's mentally deficient.

It's the people employed to catch them I feel sorry for. Imagine having to stash yourself in the bushes on the dales and wait for someone to go for a slash. Jump out on them, flash your badge, give them a fright and end up soaked in piss.

Why couldn't they just piss themselves like the average person who stays/lives in a tent?

You're going to be suicidal in the summer when he 100% leaves, aren't you?

I think the definition of HG is simply playing for a club between ages 15-21 at the minute isn't it, so if you bring in a future star from overseas they'd count. I think I'd only ever bring it back to a national level otherwise you'd end up with a load of teams suing each other - Mackems taking a kid from south Gateshead and claiming him as Durham or some shite and that would be a fucking bureaucratic nightmare. Just say if he's a British citizen then he counts as home grown and signing him comes down to the contract offer from you and whomever else. Extend it so you're also allowed a handful of youth players from overseas who'd also qualify as HG, but you need to allocate a specific space in your academies and are only allowed a definitive amount. That way you a) don't lose out on class young players from abroad to some big club overseas with different rules and b) you encourage promoting these players / selling them for profit to free up spaces for the next batch of talented foreigners.

Madness that three goalies, two inexperienced teenagers, and a handful of finished squad players haven't brought us any points. Madness I say.

According to this website he was already on £5k a week Lewis Miley Contract, Salary Cap Details & Breakdowns | Spotrac Fuck knows if this is accurate, but assuming it is I reckon he's on at least £10k per week now.

According to one of the mackems at work it's something their DOF has been blagging since he joined. The model of buying young players at bargain prices and selling them on at a massive profit, but in his eyes just means they buy shite and get stuck with shite because so far all they have bought is shite The 'model' is just the Mike Ashley 'model' in reality, and unless you have capable people in post it's likely to lead to disaster. It works at Brighton because they have a mint scouting network that they spend fortunes on. Sunderland have a director of football who plays fifa once a week

It just needs to be something easy to find on the stat accounts and inarguable really, a metric that applies to a simple figure(s) on the audited accounts. A universal monetary cap could (and should) be deemed unfair. As it stands it's unfair to the smaller clubs, or those with ambition. A transfer cap would be deemed unfair by the clubs capable of comfortably spending above it (us included).

I've been working my way through Loudermilk on Netflix. It's cracking so far, a sitcom about a recovering alcoholic who leads a support group for a rag tag group of recovering addicts.

Aye but my way of say: Revenue less debt funding + player sales would mean Man Utd would have a negative transfer budget every year and they'd die, and all their fans would die, and SAF would die (he's probably teetering now anyway tbf). I much prefer my way.

Even if they had factored in inflation down the years it's a mental figure - £105m of losses to Man City are poles apart to £105m of losses for a team like Luton. Man City lose £105m over three seasons and it just means they didn't do a cup and league double one year, but will make it back by selling 3 academy players to Southampton when they are promoted. Luton are in administration. Even losses as a % of revenue over three years would make more sense, then it's scalable depending on the size of the club. You want to increase the threshold for losses? Make more money, boost revenues, sell players at huge profits etc.

Doesn't that simply maintain the status quo though? E.g. if all clubs are only allowed to spend £120m then none of the teams beneath the elite will ever catch up. We need the ability to spend within our own capacity, same as the other clubs. It would need to factor in things like revenues, profit from player sales and how much of the company is funded through debt financing (inc. instalment obligations to other clubs for transfers) IMO. That way clubs that increase revenues and sell on a few players at massive profit, whilst having a low gearing ratio can spend more than heavily debt funded clubs - That is sustainable and actually fair, it doesn't penalise clubs with ambition, and encourages clubs to invest in their academies etc.

I pulled out three fingernails as punishment, but fair is fair and it had to be said.

That would still help close the gap though and increase competition across the league. Look at how the big 6 spend £50m vs how teams like Brighton spends £25m - Usually the big 6 are spending £50m on one of several players Brighton spent a grand total of £25m on. I think we're far too gone to usurp the 'elite' with a change of rules, but they can be amended to make the league more competitive and allow those with successful and ambitious business models (like us, Brighton and Villa - as an example) invest at a realistic level to try sustainably compete for trophies.

It was the same with Leicester too - they did the impossible and were penalised for it, and now find themselves in the championship. Anyone outside of the big 6 that dares try to compete will be handled swiftly. That said, I hope the changes only address our inability to compete - fuck Villa, fuck their fans and fuck Count 'first of all good ebening' Dracula.

And that will become the official narrative now. Poor little Arsenal couldn't improve their wafer thin squad. Bless them. All the while the same people will question Howe's future when largely the same 11 that has played every minute of every game for the last two months turns out against Villa tonight (and especially if we get beat)

One thing is for certain if I get drafted and I look over and see that scarecrow who made a wish to be a real boy standing opposite me then I am hoping we're at ground zero for the first Russian warhead.

He does look like he loves a corned beef toastie or fifty tbf.

I wonder what disability he'd suddenly have on draft day? Obesity and a severe learning disability is my guess.