Dazzler

Trippier stats according to RTG Trippier's stats according to Transfermarkt clearly showing he's only ever played less than 70 games for Barnsley which was a couple of loans: I'm shocked that someone at RTG would be incorrect about anything, ever.

They do, but until they are upgraded it's a dangerous game to play. Selling Dubs or Miggy at the minute could be suicidal without having someone ready made to come in - whether that be a player coming back from injury or buying/loaning someone. Wilson would be less of a blow purely because he's always injured but he'd still need replaced pretty sharpish. Can this Man City kid who looks suspiciously like Haaland suddenly realise he's a Haaland clone? That would be ideal tbh.

So then it goes to one of players who have deputised at times in Longstaff, Burn or Wilson. Wilson is never fit long enough to captain, and I don't think Longstaff or Burn are really suitable.

Boaty McBoatFace

and I did nothing because my Kojak's roll neck was ethically disposed of in a landfill.....

As well as a long serving, well liked and respected club captain - If Bayern make an offer for Trippier that we can't turn down then we lose both leaders in the squad in Jan.

If he has no experience of building monsters by stitching body parts together and then reanimating them with lightning strikes then he's fucking useless tbh.

Then where's fucking Dr Frankenstein when you need him*. *Not existing is not an acceptable answer

Just let me have my joke man for fuck sake

Fuck me, the second hand embarrassment I get every time I see or remember this spikes my blood pressure and I lose feeling in my fingers .. Has there ever been a more self-serving, annoying, please be my friend mr gangster cunt representing toon fans than Wraith?

Where's Guy Fawkes when you need him?

Their manifesto for the GE will be a complete shambles: "We believe immigration is a problem and we do and do not believe that the Rwanda bill is the answer" "We believe the economy is a problem and we will both cut and raise taxes to help" "We believe housing is a problem so we pledge to build and demolish 500,000 houses" "Pollution is a problem, so we promise to clean up the waters by only dumping medical waste in there"

Also, if Bayern want Howe the compensation package is set at a very low and very fair £350m.

Here's me thinking Bayern were storming the league since Sky Sports never shuts the fuck up about Kane.

I think they will most likely leave Sunak and accept defeat in the GE and use that to oust him and put in whoever they want which will most likely a huge leap further to the right making them even more unelectable - they'll cotton on to this in about a decade and then start to crawl back to centre once Labour have fucked it and the whole vicious cycle will start over again.

Born in Scotland to an Blyth mother and Hungarian dad, moved to Blyth when he was a toddler, and went to school in Gosforth. I think if we allow Dan Burn to be a Geordie then it's only fair that Mark Knopfler gets to be one too IMO. It's mental that they take such a huge problem with stuff like this, it's not like they don't have plenty of their own famous faces to be proud of. Such as Bobby Thompson, Lauren Laverne and that slag from Geordie Shore.

Aye, we're losing British values and going to the dogs but lets ignore who has been in power for the last 14 years because it's those responsible who are clearly the most qualified to undo the mess they've made. Some people are absolutely mental. At this point I am 100% confident in my own ability to do a better job than the tories have and I know fuck all about fuck all.

It's bionic now after his surgery - fear not.

Loved braiding his hair too: Also made of glass. It appears as though we have a type

I think he's been pretty consistent whenever he's had a start under Howe but it's always been stop/start because of Miggy rarely getting injured. It'll be interesting to see how he would play with an extended run of games towards the end of the season - I think that may well be in Howe's thinking too.

Got his chin tested (and jaw broken iirc) from Andy Carroll for rifling his ex and then bragging about it at training

We also have Murphy coming back soon. It'll be him starting down the right with Barnes as back up to Gordon until the summer IMO