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Dazzler

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Everything posted by Dazzler

  1. Dazzler
    "Do your twin sisters count as one, or do I have to pick one of them? Where are you going? This was your fucking idea!"
  2. Dazzler
    Hats off to him then. The amount of times I've found myself in hot water with a simple, "who the fuck is that?" when 'apparently' she talks about this friend 'all the time', is immeasurable.
  3. Dazzler
    You can also offer the worst advice ever first time you are asked and they sharp learn you are not the person to go to for advice. "Your manager made you, an admin assistant, file a box of old contracts, and despite the fact it's not in your job spec there is a line that says the list is NOT exhaustive and you will be asked to complete other tasks similar, or in line with your role. What a complete bastard. Have you thought about screaming the DX theme tune and hitting him with a sweet chin music?" Problem solved, now you can be a nodding dog in peace.
  4. Dazzler
    It must have come from some experience though. You've definitely accidentally paid attention, or intentionally during the early years when you were keen to push how good a listener you are and not insensitive like all them pricks her pals are with.
  5. Dazzler
    You have been paying far too much attention.
  6. Dazzler
    Nah, I think she knows deep down I am effectively there for her to vent to in body only, she doesn't want my active participation she just wants to get shit off her chest and I am willing to allow that so I don't get domestically abused.
  7. Dazzler
  8. Dazzler
    I zone out with our lass, but make sure I take a mental note of names and general tone. That way I know who to call a cunt when she talks about them again.
  9. Dazzler
    Was she suitably mortified or did she come to work bragging about her fella being on the telly?
  10. Dazzler
    You can't technically chin someone that has no chin due to generations of devastating inbreeding.
  11. Dazzler
    That's a good photo of the crown prince of shithouse (house of shit?). He needs to up his game to get bookings when not even on the pitch. If you aren't getting booked during a warm up then you have no business on the throne IMO.
  12. Dazzler
    We may actually see WW3 if he wins IMO. If Ukraine falls to the Russians then they will inevitably try to expand and re-create the USSR, Nato will inevitably be forced to get involved directly - at which point it all kicks off. I'd better get in the gym now, no way I can run a 10 minute mile and I'm not having some drill instructor screaming in my lug holes because I'm a fat cunt when I get conscripted. There's a chance with my background I may end up in a bunker with a computer, but I think I'd rather get shot at than try to learn Russian to transcribe Russian generals having a bit craic about nuking France.
  13. Dazzler
    They also attacked Chris Coleman from memory.
  14. Dazzler
    "I don't condone violence, but I'd love the toon fans to get Charlie Hebdo'd whilst over there."
  15. Dazzler
    What Tyson Fury's wife gets up to when he's in KSA getting chinned by MMA fighters (Yes - know it's 'Anthony' not 'Antony', and it's the wrong thread - no, you fuck off).
  16. Dazzler
    Maybe it was both - I remember a deal between Luton and Hayden fell through but I am sure Lascelles was top of their wanted list early in the window. It was around about the time we were allegedly being begged to take Maguire from Man Utd.
  17. Dazzler
    I think that's probably a formality unless he wants to be starting more games. If he chooses to go he can go knowing with his stock the highest it's been in years. Mad to think he was apparently on the verge of joining Luton in the summer.
  18. Dazzler
    tbf he probably would be fine, look at the bloke. He'd be drowning in flange within hours of a breakup. He's not like us mere mortals who'd be crying in a metro inn and tugging a depressing semi into the sink.
  19. Dazzler
    This is why he's captain IMO. Never pissed and moaned about being out of the team, celebrated every win, worked hard on his own game, listened to the manager and has gave Howe a much tougher decision to make when Botman comes back. Seems like a really sound lad, with a really good head on his shoulders. Lets also not forget his record breaking run of yellow cards late in games, in his trackies, as an unselected sub. King of the shithouses. Love him.
  20. Dazzler
    I could not and would not say the exact thing you can clearly hear me say on multiple recordings. It's slanderous to even accuse me of the thing you have irrefutable proof of me saying.
  21. Dazzler
    I think even a lot of the republicans have turned their back on him now so he'd mostly likely have to run independently and it will depend on how many racist, homophobic, sexist, brain dead, sister shagging, gun toting, pick up truck driving, Bud Light avoiding, wife beating, caravan dwelling, knuckle dragging, meth addled, white hood wearing, webbed feet having, banjo playing, corn chewing, "y'all ain't from 'round here", redneck, hillbilly fucktards are registered to vote. So probably.
  22. Dazzler
    I was about to post the exact same. The irony made my brain ache.
  23. Dazzler
    How did you get a hold of my diary?
  24. Dazzler
  25. Dazzler
    In order of the questions: 1) yes 2) yes 3) yes 4) no 5) sometimes 6) all voices matter Should I apply?
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