acrossthepond

Pretty shit troll. The quality of WUMs really has gone down lately.

He can't do worse than Ashley. Welcome back, I guess.

We in the Heed now, dawg. Yo.

He'd be better off going to Greece for any number of reasons than pissing around in a relegation battle for Hull or Stoke. Let's face it, his England career is over either way, so he should take the increased wages and CL football, plus in an inferior league he'll look better. Not like I care where the little bastard goes, by the way, just saying.

It all came crashing down there, didn't it. Better team surely won though.

He was always in it for the payoff. Can't really fault him as he wasn't as shit as some of our other signings and accomplished more but he'll want to be off and I won't be shedding any tears.

It's really not that bad. I'd have liked it if the stripes were just plain white rather than that creamy shit they have going there, but it's not the embarrassment it's being made out to be by any means.

How many "pivotal dates" have we been fed over the past season? 3pm press conference? The only thing tomorrow will be remembered for is the day when Michael Owen finally pisses off.

To be honest, Keegan is probably the best manager we could get at the moment. And would I object to him coming back? I'd welcome him with open arms. But do I want him to come back? It's nice to dream about, but in the cold light of day we need a fresh start. If he was announced tomorrow (as long as we're doing hypotheticals, let's say Ashley and crew dropped off the face of the earth too) I'd be ecstatic. But being realistic, I think his time here is over. Cut cruelly short before it was meant to be, but over nonetheless. So no, I wouldn't object, but no, I'm not going to be starting up www.keeganforthetoon.com anytime soon.

Some of Shearer's Fab Five, the first one is extra nice.

Just looking at that Charlton monstrosity is making my head hurt. How long did that thing last?

Made up I reckon. Some lazy journo saw their pictures in the new away kit, figured they'd been chosen because they were likely to stay, and so made up a story about those players being restive.

I like it. Of course, I'm glad I won't have to be the one wearing it in front of tens of thousands.

I'm going to go with...Everton.

Some of those are hilarious like. The Barton one (Prison, 1 cap - Six months) had me in stitches.

They don't really try to claim that, do they?

Let's see, how can I put this? Fuck off Mickey, you little Welsh shite, nobody wants you and the fact that you have to be hawked around like a cheap whore should clue you in to that fact. You've got a heart the size of a pea and a cock the size of a bairn's little finger and why don't you get back to your horses because God knows you've already had enough money off us to live the rest of your life in decadence. ...next post, I'll tell you how I really feel.

West Brom kit is about a hundred times better than ours. It's got a huge gap on the back, sure, but it actually looks like it was designed that way rather than added on the cutting room floor after Wor Mike rang up Adidas's budget marketing division and asked them how he could best wrangle more money out of us. I don't understand why the front of our kit has to be so different (and shite.) If we were wearing what WBA have got, except in black and white, it'd look canny. Wish we could do away with that piece of shit felt Northern Rock patch as well, looks like something Boy Scouts wear.

Front's fine, better than this years'. Back's beyond gash. Could that panel get any bigger? It can already be seen from outer space ffs.

He'll be in charge of a club who frankly need a hero right now, under a chairman who obviously cares about the club. I can't see how it will go wrong and I will be cheering for him. They can say whatever they like about Keegan and his track record, but even his most steadfast detractors would find it hard to argue that he doesn't know how to save a club on the skids.

Shock win for Egypt if there ever was one and they should routinely beat the USA on this kind of form and progress on. 4th assist of the tournament for Aboutrika as well.

Total nothing article. He didn't 'take in' anything; the bloody thing itself said he hasn't spoken publicly since Villa! Those must be some stupid bookies, too, or they know something we don't.

Hope he ends up at Burnley or somewhere similar, they must surely want a punt on England's Michael Owen?

Come on lads, enough with these awful jokes. There's a lot at steak here.

Sure we do. Plenty of speculation (perfectly believable considering the simian level of management we have here) that we'd owe an additional fee if he made a certain number of appearances.