Gemmill

I feel like last summer gave us a bit of a clue. Just a hint of a one.

Well then why the fuck did you spend last summer moaning about us putting all our eggs in one basket, if you're now so confident we were secretly trying to line up a host of RWs?

Well I should do but you seem to have been in a coma last summer, so I'm helping you out.

One is a rumour, the other a fact.

Sorry did you miss us repeatedly bidding for one, and only one, player last summer? Is it time for me to break some news?

Nice one Craig. We've got Everton beat!

Nobody wanted to lose them. It was a necessity which Howe accepted. We both know that the idea that Howe doesn't get a say in transfers is drivel. Also, Howe was the one pushing for Guehi last summer, that was very public.

His decline is age related. It's not like it's a surprise. Weird that the manager and DoF don't agree with you. But what do they know.

Listen, some of these lads know better than the manager and the DoF. I don't suppose it's occurred to them that JUST MAYBE, our very experienced manager could see the signs in Schar last year, and that's why he was so set on Guehi, while they were demanding a RW.

I had. It's the more pressing need. Murphy has been fucking great for most of this season. Schar has absolutely not.

3.5 years construction. But who knows what time preceded that in planning/design etc. We haven't even made a decision on what we're doing yet. I would assume the increased cost is cos we're building something better, but I don't really care cos it's not my money and it doesn't affect PSR.

Thanks for that breaking news about Jacob Murphy. That's the first I've heard of it.

Pace is huge. I get the point that our recent lapses haven't necessarily been directly related to pace, but some of the trouble we have would just never arise if we had pace at the heart of the defence. Anyway, Howe clearly knows this given what happened last summer. I think we'll fix it during Mitch's Heatwave this summer.

Aye we called it wykiki. Schar and Burn are great lads, but they're way the wrong side of 30 and we need proper athletes in those positions. Imagine what it would be like to have a centre back with pace ffs. Meanwhile RW is the least of our problems in comparison.

Toonpack, arrest these paedophiles.

Ah well. The inevitable happened. Just need to be at full strength and better at Wembley.

All that wanking over Salah and they've given Szoboslai MOTM.

Howe definitely sees him as his number one, but I can't understand it. Dubravka did nowt wrong and isn't a fucking nervous wreck every time the ball comes in to his feet.

Good lad Murphy.

Same one that's been keeping him out for a bit. Tweaked the other knee. Sounded like he was unlucky not to be back for tonight, so hopefully the weekend.

Tino's been shit like. He's the one player that looks like he's maybe gone backwards under Howe.

Listen to them again about Salah. Chuckling away, fucking hearts dancing above their heads.

Time for Operation Snap Salah.

We'll probably score now we need 2.