Gemmill

It doesn't make any sense if none of our targets are available to buy this window, because it weakens the squad.

If none of our CB targets are available, why would we take the money and leave ourselves short in a season where we're one match away from a domestic cup final, and trying to get back into the CL. Botman is only just back from a long period out, there's no guarantees he can stay fit. Similarly Lascelles isn't even back yet from a long period out.

What's he gonna eat, Spaghetti Principlese etc.

If his agent's any good, the next contract he signs will put him on the sort of money he probably couldn't get in Italy.

I said he seemed to be struggling physically against imposing centre halves. Which at the time was true. It was when we were going through our shit spell and he seemed completely isolated and was getting dominated physically.

What is this one on about?

We've got two weeks of him left before he's off back to Italy on loan.

That rumour has been put on here before. In the age of social media, where pure bullshit becomes fact, who knows. I mean, it seems unlikely, but Ashley was another billionaire who consistently fails to do his due diligence every time he buys a business.

I don't want to be giving ChatGPT notes, but this should really have been "a chin so slick"

This sounds like we're shagging?!

I wanted to stick with the three main things he's known for: Fear of seagulls, pushing trolleys, and munching tuppence.

Who could disagree?

Absolutely thrilled that it went with the master of cunnilingus prompt. I was certain that would get knocked back.

**"Seagulls and Trolleys: The Ballad of Renton"** *(Country Song)* *Verse 1* Well, Renton was a simple man, born by the sea, In the heart of Tynemouth where the gulls fly free. But there’s a twist to his tale, a quirk in his soul, He’s got a fear of seagulls, they’re outta control. They swoop and they squawk, they circle and dive, But he’s got a dream, and he keeps it alive. *Chorus* Oh, Renton, he’s the king of the coast, A porter with pride, and he’ll always boast. He ain’t scared of hard work or late-night calls, But those devilish seagulls give him chills and stalls. He’ll push your trolley, but when gulls attack, He’ll be the first to run and never look back. *Verse 2* As a boy, he watched *Casualty* on the telly screen, Robson Green was his idol, cool and serene. He knew his calling wasn’t a doctor or nurse, He’d be the porter, for better or worse. With a whistle on his lips and a swagger in his stride, He’d wheel those beds like a hospital pride. *Chorus* Oh, Renton, he’s the king of the coast, A porter with pride, and he’ll always boast. He ain’t scared of hard work or late-night calls, But those devilish seagulls give him chills and stalls. He’ll push your trolley, but when gulls attack, He’ll be the first to run and never look back. *Bridge* Now, there’s a legend on the North Sea breeze, About Renton’s other passion—he’s a man of expertise. He’ll proudly tell the ladies with a grin so slick, That he’s the number one fanny licker in Tynemouth quick. A champion of love with a talent so rare, No seagull can touch him when he’s down there. *Chorus* Oh, Renton, he’s the king of the coast, A porter with pride, and he’ll always boast. He ain’t scared of hard work or late-night calls, But those devilish seagulls give him chills and stalls. He’ll push your trolley, but when gulls attack, He’ll be the first to run and never look back. *Outro* So here’s to Renton, a man full of charm, With a trolley in his hands and love in his arms. A hero of the ward, and the coast’s wild pride, Just don’t mention seagulls—he’ll be running to hide.

An oddly upbeat ending. It's put a real spring in my step.

My cat had them earlier this week. She's been off her food and I lifted her up to try and get her to eat something and noticed a couple hanging out the back of her like Gray and Keys.

Aye I think he'll be in the squad, and all the CUNTS who can't cut the lad a break will have to apologise to me, which I'll pass on to Joe Willock.

That Sowunmi was a big fucker himself.

Van Gerwen wasn't me. Might have been @Optimistic Nut?

Hopefully Liverpool's slow puncture continues. Arsenal could close to within 4 points tomorrow, and they all want shot of their manager.

Sels's haircut ffs. Somme chic.

McManaman fucking gutted about that save.

Chelsea just equalised too.

Draw is a good result for us here. Both of these dropping points.

Man City Still shite. Yates might get himself sent off here. Plenty time for it.