Toonpack

Coming from Bournemouth he mistakenly thought because Newcastle is so far up Norf that there was a time difference

You prefer woodwind instruments ??

Severely limiting his chat-up lines: ”do you want to see some puppies” is completely out of the question.

Anyone who hates dogs (or even dislikes them a little) is a wrongun of the highest order and uses their supposed hatred as a cover for their fear of them the softshites.

I always made a point of taking our dogs into the garden on their first fireworks night, carried them at first and would make excited noises (like a gibbering idiot) when they went off, then would put dog down and Chuck a ball or something after a few minutes. Never had a dog scared of them after that. Am convinced dogs pick up on owners being nervous about “oh the dogs going to be shit scared” and react accordingly. Our first dog used to ask to be out and would spend the evening in the garden sniffing the air, she must have liked the smell, totally unfazed by the racket. agree the fucking things should be banned though.

In fairness to him, he was around from first time the takeover was mooted, just some random Saudi lad on Twitter, who took to NUFC and stuck with it right through. If he was Man U it was over 2 years ago.

And absolutely don’t read tweets from Lion of Gosforth, formerly Vinnie on Skunkers

Can you imagine how much of the food orders would go missing in transit

He'll have got a payoff wedge, don't those often come with a reduction/cancellation when/if you get another job

Yep and it's a knocking bet Rafa'll be out of work next week

It's all become a bit of a damp squib, long view can't be anything but bright (although this everything has to be signed off by PIF is a worry) but initial impressions are shite tbh. Bruce should have been peddled day 1 it made zero football sense to keep him, the SD shite should have been down Day 1 (would Ashley really have scuppered the deal if they'd said NAH!) and now this managerial circus. They've an awful lot to learn it would appear. The euphoria is being replaced by same old, same old, Newcastle. Richest club in the world now shopping in poundland.

Nailed on we appoint Howe or Martinez and a week later Benitez is peddled by the scouse Mackems

Buttler is unreal when he's on form, unbelievable stuff.

Didn't the Gold brothers make their money from tities, definite rabbit off somewhere.

De Kock not playing today as refused to "take the knee", given the country he represents and it's very recent history, not sure that was a wise decision, no matter if you think it's right or wrong or personal choice.

Wood will likely do well, very quick and also skiddy, but can't stay fit !!!

Stokes added to Ashes squad, we'll maybe avoid a couple of innings defeats in the 5-0 drubbing now.

Not at all mate, it's folks like you (at that time) who needed the help, but it's the absolute cunts who make it so hard for those who are REALLY trying to help but are tiny cogs in a massively fucked machine. The problem is there are MASSIVE (the majority) numbers of folks on UC who "manage" (putting aside views of if it's managing enough, for a moment) and who NEVER call for anything or even consider trying anything on, they just get on as best they can. The problem is that when they can't manage and do need to reach out for some further help they are a lost voice in a sea of chancers. Folks I know at the sharp end of that say around 80% of who they deal with, every fucking day, are chancers and they fuck them off as best they can, and they feel GREAT when they can help a genuine person and believe me, most of the time they can tell, but not always. Colleague of my Mrs. had a call for an advance and it seemed a lovely woman on the phone in really dire straits, so he did his utmost stretching the "grey areas" of the rules and helped her out and processed the dosh, just as he was hanging up he heard a cheer in the background of "Get the fuck in" from a couple of blokes - he'd been totally played, he was gutted. How's he going to deal with the next "lovely genuine person" he gets on the line, sure try to stay objective but it's got to be fucking hard.

The difficulty is when "joining" the system, that's where the main hurdles are to try (but fail) to prevent the pro's getting in (again) - because the big scam is opening/closing/changing accounts. The genuine have to prove they are genuine, above and beyond what should be straightforward. solely because of the twats. As Ant says, I know folks who are working with these twats in that area and they are professional scroungers and there are many thousands of them, they have FB groups on the latest things to say, the rules they know backwards, and the scroungers know the full script on everything and many are getting more money for nothing than those trying to reel them in. The latest thing is they're all playing the mental health card, for those dealing with them, it's extremely difficult to remain objective for identifying those REALLY suffering when twat after twat plays the same old song. "If I don't get some money I'm going to kill myself" etc - Agent has a procedure if that's said, involves asking lots of things including because of a duty of care they will have to arrange a visit from the authorities to check they will be OK, twat answer "Ah no man! I wasn't serious". Try dealing with a call like that when you maybe know someone who has committed suicide. They are utter scum and there are many many thousands of them who are "poor" by choice (but better off than many workers, including many who have to deal with them)

I am well aware of that, and wasn't even extrapolating it out to "the whole country's problems" but there's a large lump of professionally poor who muddy the waters, in the current circumstances, for the other poor fuckers on the subject that was in question. IMO we should have a reasonable UBI for everyone, but that'll never happen.

There's a section on Govt website which details what you can get an advance for. Amazing how unlucky some folks are when their cooker, washer and fridge freezer all break the same day after they've paid off their last advance !!! (they do have to pay them back btw). They are tightening up though, when UC came in it was "have an advance" now it's really pissing the scratters off when they realise there's notes on what was given for last time, no you can't have money for a new cooker, you got one last year it'll still be under warranty (obviously they pissed the money up the wall and never needed or bought a cooker). There's thousands of them. it's them that's making things more difficult for genuine folks hitting hard times.

Suppose, if his whole team of useless coaching bastards leaves with him, you need new super duper guy to come in along with his new bunch of absolutely tremendous coaching chaps, more than one guy to line up.

Guaranteed the twat will be getting pre-emptive excuses in for Sunday, "the takeover is great for the club but the uncertainty about the manager position has made my preparation difficult" etc etc

Aye, her skeleton’s in a rocking chair in the attic and Charley regularly goes to consult her, after he’s checked the showers.

The stairs up to level 7 breathe a sigh of relief