donaldstott

Might be worth checking out a place called Cavtec, up at Kenton Bankfoot. They have put stuff together for me in the past.

He was never going to be in the first team very long with a certain, floppy haired, softly spoken Londoner waiting in the wings.

Was at the game. I have a memory of gazing t'wards the Rottterdam faithful, my eyes rested upon an attractive Dutch girl - blond, slim and tall .. Bonjour madame... Within seconds she was doing slit throat signs, trying to climb the plexy glass, gurning and flicking the v's towards the massed geordie faithful.. Never judge a book!!

In proximity terms there are 91 other teams I should support before Newcastle...

Someone told me the other day that in one of his final games the opta stats tracked his movement. Turned out the goalkeeper covered more ground than Cole... I think you know it's time to retire when that's the case!!

Lust, Caution. Really enjoyed it. Missus came back from the gym and accused me of watching porn!!

He's done good business on Cuellar, Ashley Young and Carew. He's paid over the odds on the rest. Having said that a Newcastle fan shouldnt really mock other clubs for doing that!!

That shit stops me going in there!! It's horrid. Lager doesn't need to be a taste sensation for me, it just needs to be cold and wet.. Having said that there is a boozer near me that sells Heineken, Paulaner and Peroni on draught. I like them all.

I don't think he's lacked heart, the difference is he's playing without an injury, he's playing with a partner who dovetails well and he's playing under a manager who a) believes in him and wants him keep it simple.

According to the Sun's lipreader he said. ‘Pack it in, f*****g lip’. Barton walks off saying, ‘F**k it’, then moves his finger round his mouth appearing to say, ‘F**k your big lips’.” The racism comes in from those who've jumped to the conclusion that all black people have big lips. The lad is going to have everything scrutinised. If you throw enough shit...

Did she watch the game cos form where I was sitting he sprinted from the centre circle into the box and was unlucky not to connect with the cross On this occasion she got it spot on, he just slowed his run as he broke in to the box, before speeding up again..

More tv money when you're on tv. Isnt it a fixed contract for TV cash? Think it's a mixture of both. All the clubs get a share of a fixed amount then get additional money for each appearance. That seems a tad unfair on the Wigans of this world. I always thought it was fixed for the league then you get more for the cup appearances. It's all about the numbers. More viewers = more advertising revenue = more profit. That's why the likes of Wigan aren't on the box very often, because a) they are quite dull and they don't have many fans.

Personally I'd give him a new contract. Trying to replace three strikers is not going to be easily. And the thought of Martins and Smith up front is enough to make we come out in hives!!

If they review it and he gets a retrospective red card, that would be for violent conduct. That would trigger the other half of his 12 match ban. Whether that would be 9 games in total I'm not sure!!! This has the potential to be a costly flick of the nose!!

Considering the wedge they're taking home it is not unreasonable to expect a little more quality.

The Daily Mail have handily transcribed it for those that weren't listening... All 30,000 of you!! Lest we forget: Or what the BBC won't let you hear By Daily Mail Reporter In its news coverage, the BBC has presented a heavily sanitised, jokey version of the obscene calls Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross made to actor Andrew Sachs. It has featured the briefest and least offensive sections, along with light-hearted footage of the pair singing and giggling in the studio. All of this glosses over the truly vile nature of the material. Here, for the first time, the Mail prints the entire transcript of what was broadcast on Radio 2 on October 18 - along with another exchange between Ross and Brand that was cut out. We apologise to readers who may be offended by the explicit and disturbing language used. But we think it is important to know exactly the sort of material these presenters thought so funny. (They call Andrew Sachs's home but only get through to his answerphone) Russell Brand: Hello Andrew Sachs, this is Russell Brand - you are meant to be on my show now mate - I am here with Jonathan Ross. I could still do the interview to your answerphone. Jonathan Ross: Let's do it . Brand: Man - er, Andrew Sachs. Ross: Don't call him Manuel, that's really bad manners. I apologise for Russell - he's an idiot. Brand: I said Andrew Sachs! Look Andrew Sachs I have got respect for you and your lineage and your progeny, never let that be questioned. Ross: Don't hint. Brand: I weren't hinting! Why did that come across as a hint? Ross: Because you know what you did. Brand: That wasn't a hint. Ross: He f***ed your granddaughter! [laughter in the studio] Brand: That's his answerphone! Ross: I'm sorry - I apologise Andrew, I apologise, I can't help it, you were talking about it and it was in my head, I apologise. Brand: Jonathan! Ross: I got excited, what can I say, it just came out. Brand: Right. You wait till I come on your show. Andrew Sachs I did not do nothing with Georgina - oh no, I revealed I know her name! Oh no, it's a disaster! Abort, abort! Put the phone down, put the phone down, code red, code red! I'm sorry Mr Fawlty, I'm sorry. You're a waste of space! Oh no, Jonathan. Ross: Why did you tell me? I forgot. You mentioned her and then it was in my head and then it came out. Brand: I know you can't be blamed for this. It's too much for you . Ross: He is the poor man at home sobbing over his answer machine. Brand: What's going to happen? I will get a call now from the Satanic Sluts (Miss Baillie's group of dancers). Ross: If he is like most people of a certain age he has probably got a picture of his grandchildren when they were young and innocent right by the phone. So while he is listening to the message he is looking at a picture of her when she was about nine on a swing . Brand: She was on a swing when I met her . Let's ring back Andrew Sachs. [They call for a second time] Ross: Hello! Manuel here! Sachs: [his answer machine message] Sorry I can't answer at the moment .. Brand: [interrupting] I am too busy thinking about killing myself - Andrew, this is Russell Brand. I am so sorry about the last message - it was part of the radio show, it was a mistake. The truth is I am phoning you to ask if I can marry - that's right, marry - Georgina the granddaughter. Ross: And I would like to be a page boy. Brand: He wants to be a page boy, we are going to have a Fawlty Towers-themed wedding. Ross: Now you've spoilt it! Brand: No! I made it better. I'm sorry, I'll do anything. I wore a condom. Put the phone down! Oh what's going to happen? Look, I've got a mental illness. Do you think that made it better? Ross: You will never become king rat in the Variety Club now. Brand: Oh no, that's over for me now - Jonathan I think we've made the situation worse ... We've got to stop upsetting Manuel. This time Jonathan I'm convinced we can make it better. Ross: Let's just sing to him. Brand: I'll make up something as I go along. [Third message] Brand: [singing] I'd like to apologise for the terrible attacks, Andrew Sachs, I would like to show contrition to the max, Andrew Sachs. I would like to create world peace, between the yellow, white and blacks, Andrew Sachs, Andrew Sachs. I said something I didn't have oughta, like I had sex with your granddaughter. But it was consensual and she wasn't menstrual, it was consensual lovely sex. It was full of respect I sent her a text, I've asked her to marry me, Andrew Sachs. Ross: This has made it worse, you have trivialised the whole incident. Brand: Hang up, hang up! It's trivialised it! Ross: You know there is one way we could possibly make it better . Brand: We can keep ringing, and even after the show's finished, kick his front door in and scream apologies into his bottom. Ross: Hello, Manuel is not in right now. Please leave a message after the tone. [Fourth message] Brand: I am sorry, I am so sorry - that I had a difficult life, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry Andrew. Let's just take some time together, we can meet up. Ross: You're making it worse, just say sorry. Brand: Jonathan Ross is sorry as well, it was his idea. Sorry about everything that's ever happened. [Later] Brand: No one could have been offended by anything that went on in that show. Ross: Who could possibly be offended by anything there? If they were they are crazy people. Brand: If Andrew Sachs listens to his answerphone message when he gets it... Ross: The saving grace is you didn't have anything to do with his granddaughter did you? Brand: Oh actually I did, I slept with her, but it was ultimately undermined, not undermined, underlined with love. And what was cut out of the broadcast: Ross: Have you ever bumped into him? (Andrew Sachs) Brand: No. Ross: Let's hope that continues. You might hear from his granddaughter though. She might phone up and say what were you saying? Brand said: She's gonna though - she was always saying to me 'please if you ever meet my grandad'.. Ross: Phone her and ask her to break it gently to him and say there's a message and when you get home just delete them all. Brand: Good idea. We've finally got a chance for redemption. We will ring the granddaughter. Brilliant. Ross: No. I've got a better idea - let's both put on striped shirts and break into his house, merely to delete the answerphone message - let's see what happens. What could go wrong? Brand: Nothing. Literally, nothing could go wrong as we smash our way into Andrew Sachs's house. Ross: No. No, we break in like cat burglars tonight when he's in bed. Brand: 'Yes, while he sleeps. Ross: ...and go up to the pillow to kiss him to say sorry. Brand: Kiss him up and down his body apologising, drench him in gin. Ross: M********e him to say sorry. Make him feel better. (bursts out laughing) Brand: 'So sorry, Andrew Sachs, this will make up for it. Go on finish it, into the palm of my hand. Good girl for uncle daddy, good girl for uncle daddy. (Laughs) There we go, what a show it's been. Ross: What's that noise I hear? Ah, it's a Sony Award coming your way.

My missus went to see a psychic and was told "you've got cancer in you". She found a small lump and we went to the doctor, I told her the story and she looked at me like I was an idiot and said it was probably a glandular thing!! I'm still pretty worried. If the psychic is a charleton then why would she say something like that??? Just wondered what anybodys experiences are, have you been told specific things that have come true?

Without wanting to come across all Guardian readery... I truly don't get America's fascination with guns. More guns = more untimely deaths Guns (of any kind) + 8 years children = accident waiting to happen Guns + teenage angst = Columbine DO THE FUCKING MATH!!!

Worryingly they did, he said "rather you didn't old chap, why don't I come in and do a proper interview" and they played it out anyway... Sounds like a stupid young producer who didn't have the bollocks to stand up to the "talent"

I thought Shola had another good game last night, what you need from a target man is the ball to stick and relieve the pressure on the centre halves and most of the time Shola gives you that. Certainly on current form he deserves to be in the team. I find Martins very frustrating, he just makes bad decisions and he uses his pace very badly. But his pace is vital to the team and his unpredictability works in our favour.

Was he captain at City?

Step forward captain Taylor???

I reckon he showed enough in those 10 minutes to deserve to start tomorrow. Butt's daft challenges have cost us at least 5 points so far this season and personally I'd rather see Barton in the side.

They are both the same almost all boring c*nts to a man, middle class, private school educated, and know someone called Giles. No comparison, we take the mick when we go to their place, they all turn up wearing white tshirts trying to blend into the crowd. Arsenal fans dont have a clue that football existed before the prem (like a few on here) and are generally called Tarquin or Floella. Their fan representative is an american woman who wears a pink cowboy hat and they have a "singing section" which is probably the most contrived new fan thing there is. That argument is all well and good, but when you consider Tottenham had an average gate bigger than Arsenal TWICE, in the 22 years before the Premiership, it begs the question....did your fans know it existed? Not important,what is important is those fans are still represent a good chunk of the Spurs support rather than the jonny come latelys who need to be told when and where they can stand and sing. Stating that your support is better than Arsenal's is hardly something to be proud of. That's like telling your boss that you are doing a good job because you are more productive than the dyslexic work experience boy!!

I have never seen any lagging... That kind of filthy behaviour belongs to the unwashed themselves. However it's a tough call to dissapear to the bog in the middle of a half!! The correct course of action is of course to piss in your pants!!