Ted Maul

Hot Chip and Sigur Ros

You're being taken for a complete and utter mug, mate. I do feel for you because you like her and you think there may be a chance but you've got to tell her where to go. Believe me, if you don't do something about it now you'll regret it. I've been there, done that and it can only end with you feeling like a complete arse and wishing it hadn't happened. I don't want to burst your bubble but there is no chance of you's two getting together and being happy - Zilch. She's played you and her boyfriend for so fucking long that if by any chance you did get with her she'd do the same to you. The lass has obviously got serious issues that need to be delt with if she can do what she's doing to you and her lad, two people who she apparently loves. Please mate, do yourself a massive favour and tell her to fuck off once and for all. I've been in a very similar situation to you once or twice myself and it always ends in tears. Sure, it'll hurt for the first week or two when she's texting you night and day saying she loves you but you need to give her the cold shoulder. You'll meet someone ten times better and the feeling that you'll get when you go out and see her playing her boyfriend and another poor sod off against each other like she was doing to you will be fantastic. And if you still can't do that give her number to Smooth and he can send a cock shot. That's sure to scare the shit out of her.

'Gemmill hung like an Indian bloke says Girlfriend'

Now he's being played along Butt I think we'll get much more out of him. Wasn't he playing like a man on a mission because one of the Reading staff said a few nasty things about him prior to the game?

That'll concern him. Livid in the same way that you wanted Coventry to beat us a couple of years back? Exactly the same way

Pud enters and suddenly this thread has legs again The second idea sounds great and could get you the freedom of the board if you pull it off. You and SMO could always take Wacky along with you and say you're colleting for the vertically challenged.

Concurred. String him along for a bit first.

I would like.... I would but I wouldn't be paying for the pleasure! To be fair to the lad she does look like she swallows and wouldnt fight back if you poked her in the ring. The chebs divn't look too bad either. Oh fucking have a word with yourselves!

I would like.... I would but I wouldn't be paying for the pleasure! To be fair to the lad she does look like she swallows and wouldnt fight back if you poked her in the ring. The chebs divn't look too bad either.

SMO's missus as Alf Garnett tbh. That reminds me... http://www.rathergood.com/alf/

I would like....

I'd be happy to but I currently lack Bluetooth

To be fair if both Jimbo and Pud were on the balcony I think I know who'd be the person knocking one out.

She read Fish's theory on suicide and was so enraged she killed her sister.

He's still saving for Kuyt, man.

Shinton would be rolling in his grave.

Do you always make the boys work for a cock shot? More than J69 makes his mam work for one

Surely we can't just launch into a cock shot either? We've got to make him work for it!

I'd forgotten how much of a twat you can be. Thanks for the reminder. Well i havent been here much recently cos the craic has been shit but im all ready for this thread. The anticipation of this non event has already made my day So what are we going to do this time guys! Pretend to be police officers? Chase him into blockbusters? Take a picture of him on our phone when he isnt looking? I cant wait!!! Pin him down and get Pud to fart in his face then run off high-fiving and giggling like school girls.

Read my mind.

I say Smooth gets his phone out, sends him another picture of his cock and see if we get the same photo of that flat titted lass back.

Why do I expect him to go on SSN if this takeover happens and be standing infront of a removal van claiming that "These stories are so old they're in danger of growing a beard".

If he drops or moves either of them just so he can bring Parker back in i'll be livid.

Fuck me

Depending on what the majority think it'll be either.... a ) Aye, sounds good. Everyone get a photo of them with the obligitory bottle of alcohol on a certain date wishing a Merry Xmas to Toontastic b ) Piss off Shinton, what a sad idea. I hate you.