sweetleftpeg

I don't think I've ever hidden the fact I'm a right cynical twat when it comes to anything Ashley does, but I always thought the appointment of Carver and Stone and the promotion of Beardsley was more a patronising 'keep the locals happy' move rather than for the good of the club. Positive discrimination I think they call it.

I've said since the minute we signed him that you need to savour every moment as history suggests he'd have no problems shafting us. I don't see why anyone would be surprised, we got him on the relative cheap because of him kicking up a stink at OM. As long as we make a healthy profit, I've always expected that his time here won't be that long to be honest.

Congratulations HF. The usual congratulatory response within my circle of friends is 'well played, not a jaffa then.'

Or quality Garden Gnomes. We all need to buy a Garden Gnome, it may fund a centre half. When your captain and leader wants to leave, whether it's homesickness or whatever, it's going to have far more of an effect on that dressing room than others leaving. This is not good.

I've got an easy solution to all of this. Make guns illegal on US soil. Keep them legal on US coastal waters. Gun enthusiasts can then hire boats and shoot the shit out of all those sharks eating people.

Ba is a player full of confidence who couldn't stop scoring in a poor team. Torres is a player with zero confidence who has struggled to score in a team with a dynamic and creative midfield behind him. So Benitez starts Torres. I'd give him pelters as well.

Did nobody get the memo that Mike is running us likes Sp***s D****t? Buy cheap, sell high. It's a bit like the stock market for him. You can't be surprised when we're being run by a bloke who spends a lot of time in Casinos..

When I saw it was Piers Morgan my radar is straight for backing the other guy. Unbelievably, he had me shouting for Morgan. That's how crazy he is. Cuckoo.

He's this years Cuba Gooding Jnr.

As has been mentioned before, has Barton spoken to him? I can't imagine he'll be issuing a glowing report about those running the club.

The future of BBC punditry right there. Jesus wept.

It does spew a lot of shite to be fair, I just thought I would post it as it's quite a harsh opinion on our No 1 transfer target.

Interestingly, Football365 has a Top 10 of transfers that clubs should avoid and guess who is number 1... http://www.football365.com/topical-top-10/8385544/F365-s-Top-Ten-January-Targets-To-Avoid

I quite like nipping into the shops on the way home from work. I pass it on the way, and it means instead of doing a big shop where we ultimately buy shite we don't need or really want, I instead pick up the ingredients of what takes our fancy for tea. The big thing though is that my wife is a nightmare in the shops for taking ages so it's much quicker if I do it. And cheaper.

Paul McGrath went on the lash because of his injuries. They helped with the pain.

I bet we've all woken up with the bastard of all leg cramps after a day on the lash occasionally!

Thanks for the Papa Laz comparison. We are both around 4ft tall so I can see the mix up.

Bet we sign Dyer. Jesus Wept.

Who do you replace Pardew with? If he sacked him he'd probably play his Geordie Mafia card again and keep on Carver and Stone but put Pedro in charge. Then when we go down we'll get the blame for it being accused of wanting 'lercals' in who understand the club etc which is bollocks.

The biggest problem I have with the Suarez goal is it highlights the pro-Liverpool agenda in the media that we all know exists. He'd be getting crucified by the press far more if he played for someone else. He is a cunt, but to be fair to him, 99 out of a 100 footballers (British or otherwise) would have done exactly the same. As we say at 5-a-side, play to the whistle.

We haven't won away from home all season, picking up 4 points. We're running out of home games. I'm not trying to panic but it's getting a bit too de ja vue for me like. The more we fail to win at home, the more precarious that table gets. Hey, I'm the first to hope we're all looking back at in May this moment laughing whilst dancing round the streets of Amsterdam..

First year I did the GNR my father in law. who used to be a serious club runner, drilled it into me that I should take it nice and easy early on. Ignore everyone sprinting off, just take it easy and run your own race. I probably took this a bit too literally and was slow as shit first 5 miles. However, when I came in for the last bit on the sea front I felt fresh as a daisy and pretty much sprinted home. Last year however, that final run in was a little more laboured..