ChezGiven

Heat magazine is evidence that women are utter shits. I would have said cunts but the deafening silence in the trent on saturday after i called my boss that tells me not to use that word.

Me! Was there 2 years, like a safe haven for homos, thats why SMO is still mincing around there and thats why I bailed out as it was only matter of time before one of them tried to punch my doughnut. 2 years? Weren't busting a gut to leave then were you? Not really, I was on the sick on full pay for most of that You've got to respect Wacky for all the wrong reasons. Love the fact SMO's running the gauntlet of male arse pinching all day an all. Reading Heat magazine and bitching about soap actresses no doubt too.

Ooohh do ye get all the gossip? Do you squat to piss anarl?

I always think of men who work in HR as like men who serve you drinks and food on aeroplanes.

Every cloud... Buying a house together and THEN this happening would have been a whole different world of shit. I'd also echo the sentiment that you can now go out and bang a few birds that you may or may not have had half an eye on anyway. This and drinking is the best way to deal with such setbacks.

Spot on. It needs repeating for some people too.

I've been to Wupprertal, just near Dusseldorf. Its a strange eery sort of place.

South Park rip-off but very funny.

Scarey flowers.... woooh. Used to love Day of the Triffids. It was a book, a film, a BBC tv series and now an australian rock band apparently. It was all downhill by the looks of things.

How did this latest cock episode come about in the first place?

Redundancy has not been on the cards, i'm taking advantage of the company performance issue which has already led to some manufacturing jobs going in the last week.

Would depend on the individual circs. For instance a cleaner living in Plymouth would be made redundant if the firm offered him/her an alternative position in Aberdeen. A chief executive in charge of that company might not be made redundant if the location of the work suddenly switched from one place to the other. Anyways it seems from Chez's post that he's saying there's no issue on that score. They're actually looking at offering him the redundancy package. Presumably Chez is pushing a brush round the u-bend rather than pushing through hard business deals. It doesn't sound like he has been offered it though. I would be concerned if I was him as that's a fair whack to lose on the equivalency point. I would take independant advice on his sector/role and any precedents. No I would agree with that actually tbh mate. Reading it back there is potentially an issue there depending on the views of the company (and ultimately case law). I'd just sought to address the redundancy point as if it were on offer, as this seemed to be what Chez was getting at. Am concerned now but not clear. Whats the potential issue?

Would depend on the individual circs. For instance a cleaner living in Plymouth would be made redundant if the firm offered him/her an alternative position in Aberdeen. A chief executive in charge of that company might not be made redundant if the location of the work suddenly switched from one place to the other. Anyways it seems from Chez's post that he's saying there's no issue on that score. They're actually looking at offering him the redundancy package. Presumably Chez is pushing a brush round the u-bend rather than pushing through hard business deals. Ally McBeal Just getting my facts straight before i do anything. They are looking at offering me 2 roles, redundancy has never been mentioned. Because of the company situation, if i put myself forward for it then there is a chance they may say yes, depsite the 2 roles on offer. Yanking close to £30k out of them when i'm leaving anyway makes me a right hard nosed cunt if you ask me.

Yeah, this all depends on whether i can persuade them that the two roles are not equivalent. Thats not a concern really as if they say they are then fair enough, just didnt want to do anything dodgy as i may end up back here one day.

And RICO too, sorry mate.

Mr Noisewater, Mr Mag and Mr Operator, thank you for the help, the drinks are on me and if i can be of service, just ask. Policy is 3.5 weeks salary for every year of service. 7 years service is therefore 22.5 weeks of tax-free salary. If this comes off, i'm fucking laughing. Big if like.

Very much in that boat as you can be frog-marched out the building if you go to work on a competitive product. I've seen people hand their notice in at 9am and were out the door at 10am.

I'm sure you've been asked this before though SMO, 'Is it legal?' Totally legal, loads of people here are taking voluntary redundancy at the mo and have other things lined up. Getting a nice sum of cash to set themselves up in business, pay off mortgages etc. DO IT! And don't forget my drink. Only issue would be getting the other place to hold this position for you until the end of the year. Although if they are keen I'm sure they would. They dont expect me to start until the new year anyway. Cheers anyway mate, be nice to hear what manc-mag has to say too.

I'm sure you've been asked this before though SMO, 'Is it legal?'

Manc-mag, I'm currently finishing a role for my company, the end date is 31st december. The role will not exist next year so the team has no budget for headcount in my role. The company is currently having some broad difficulties due to a problem on one of our key growth brands meaning growth targets for 2008 will be missed. The company has recently announced an 'operational excellence' programme which is one of those beautiful corporate euphemisms for cost-cutting and job losses. I work in an EU role and i have been put forward for 2 roles within the company, one back in the UK operating company and one in the Global R&D organisation. Neither of those are really 'equivalent' jobs, so a case can be made for me not accepting them as they can be seen as a step backwards (uk role) and not in line with my career trajectory (R&D role). I have been offered a job (in writing) from another company and i'm really into the idea of taking it. More money, better conditions (french holidays basically) and its with the industry leader (i'm in the no.2 company at the moment). Having had this offer in writing, am i legally allowed to ask for redundancy from my current company even though i know i have a job to go to? They are looking to cut jobs so i can write to HR saying i would be prepared to take redundancy but am concerned about the legality of not discussing or letting them know that i have another job outside of the business already in place (and who want me to start asap). If you can help out, you can drink for free next time i see you. Chez.

Will be writing one very soon.

I read somewhere (not sure how true or accurate my memeory) that the fiery taste of chilli is a reaction designed to stop humans eating it and this same reaction therefore leads to the release of endorphins in the brain (associated with dopamine production) and hence causes a natural 'high'. Hence the addiction. Something like that anyway

Thats a good outcome? "I'm bored of this coming up" "what else can i do?" "I dont want you going to prison". She's falling deeper and deeper in love with you as we speak.

Writing a letter to your own lass? I wouldnt, i'd just rise above him. If you cant, you need to sort out some issues that you've got. Being hard is about being bigger (not physically), cleverer (sic) and better than other people, not chinning them. Thats the reaction of a brainless idiot. You can 'chin him' psychologically but you need to get your head together first. For example, if she does really love you, being 'not arsed' when they are together will confuse your lass intitially then will dig into her deeper consciousness and make her think she may lose you. Reverse psychology on women is always a winner. On NO account let him go away with her without you though. However, being cool about them spending time together makes you look relaxed, independent, strong and will make him look sneaky, needy and shit. Just ask Parky. Some terrible advice in this thread btw.