Monkeys Fist

It looks like an old school VW btw, I’d normally say a Golf, but it’s probably a Polo.

“ Here’s looking atchoo , kid”

Hey, it’s not to be sneezed at.

Watching the storms pass on the terrace at Café del Cheviot.

Are you playing the Dad’s D&B stage this year?

The Ladies Euros are next year. The FA can save a few quid and recycle its banners.

Dodgy Roman pizza ?

Foden might have made the call for Southgate… https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/articles/cy779zdr2yro

If she’s not, I’ll guarantee she was a founding member of The Sunderland AFC Heaven Branch. They’re fucking desperate these, mind

I’ve just slept in a metal box from 7:30am. In a totally unshaded concrete parking pad. Sweaty is t the word.

Good news this, I’ve always quite admired Assange… from a distance. I imagine in person he’s fucking lifting and an insufferable weapon.

I’m not 100% convinced this Putin is the same one as the one that gave Yeltsin his final vodka.

Better quality shoplifting marra

Frankie Howerd as Yoda

Is it in Cramlington?

The Tory Twoccer, now I’ve heard everything

Fair Point.

Dee-Lite, memorable for an absolute banger and an absolute bang her of a catsuit.

Oh dear Roberto Without wanting to compound your misery on the night your lads just got tae fuck, I’ve got to say this is a strange hill to choose to die on, especially as you’re 100% wrong Let’s assume that Crazy In Love was the best track of the 21st C when it was realised in May 2003 ( it wasn’t). Its crown had barely had time to settle before it had its, admittedly fucking lovely, arse kicked three months later when this absolute Pop masterpiece was released. To prove it’s position as the best track of 2003, just tune in to your local commercial radio breakfast show, and after listening to Jenny and Jonno ,( or Kim and Kev, or whatever pair of vacuous window-lickers they have), wittering on about how they don’t understand coffee, or woke up scared of shoes, whatever verbal shite they spout, within 10 minutes it’ll be played. Every day, every station, still, over twenty years after its release. Why? Because it’s a an amazing pop record- you can not listen to it without at least one part of your body involuntarily tapping out the rhythm. Every cunt likes it- you can not go to a wedding, Christmas party, retirement do, family BBQ, whatever, without it inevitably being played. It’s a masterpiece. I’ll accept your apologies by proxy, as you’re obviously going to be busy crying in to your pint of Bucky, or approving new memberships to the Queen Bey Official Fan Club.

Aye, Pompeii has been on my list for ages.

Did you stay in a hotel or Airb&b mate? I’m leaning towards a hotel because, well, fuck doing my own dishes and that, but a nice AB&B has advantages too.

Someone didn’t Hawk Tuah Dougle last night

On the corner of the canal, looking at this, mostly. There’s a nice little cafe there so you can have a “wee swally “ between bombing runs