Monkeys Fist

" Box of salty popcorn and a pack of hankies please"

" If you don't follow Danny Simpson on Twitter, please leave the room......."

Dreamtime?

Untamed Ozzy bush.... ... I know she's english, but it was filmed in Oz

I think the difference in prize money is £800,000 per place , so just under £6.5 million difference. * awaits correction

"Fuck off Norway"

Is this true; "Organisers of Italia 90 TV coverage had the splendid idea of augmenting team line-ups with film of each player mouthing his own name. Gascoigne's genius led him to subvert the process by, instead, mouthing 'F***ing W***ker'. The BBC had to use it all the way through the tournament." If so, is there footage

How's Xisco getting on lately btw?

Picky McPickyarse.

Go on then, my dartboard's getting old.

Telly birds wot I wood.

Spying. Pick a random, follow them without being sussed. Sounds shit, but high drama to a 10 yr old. Also, Hallas/Harras. Basically Extreme hide and seek. 1 seeker, the rest hid. As you caught people they became seekers until last person was found. For "catch", read "chin", as you were only classed as caught after 5 "bats on the heed".

Best NUFC taches

Knock knock

Tache-tastic.

Sit in your garden in your shorts, drinking lager and post drivel on here until you succumb to hypothermia.

Post a pic then Zavaroni.

Someone talking sense. Salma Hayek and Susannah Reid.

Imagine how they felt , "Eeeya, Shazza, it's another fat ginger perv, flash him your Knicks… Eewww, he's come in his pants"