Monkeys Fist

Very simple solution this… … but it would inevitably lead to VAR for the VAR.

Kets were sweets, Cogley ( or, as he said it, cockley) was feeling ill Varney ( pronounced var nigh) was nearly. On your honkers was crouching. Clarts was mud or dirt “ Ya hacky wi’ clarts” My Grandad and Dad used loads of them on that list tbh, and there’s a fair few I do.

sunderland to Bilbao, by bike, in 24hrs? Aye, Marra’s

Aye, it’s fucking terrifying tbh. The drone footage at the end of the clip shows him being engulfed at the end of the run, with what appears to be a jet ski emerging from the mess to pick him up. Insane.

I say this every time I get a Whitley delivery run. If anyone is wondering why it’s impossible to get hold of a plumber, it’s because every fucking one of them is working in Whitley fucking Bay installing bathrooms for cunts. I delivered a bathroom set yesterday to some mid-30s couple. The lad opened the boxes to check for damages, and came upon what looked like a lampshade made of bottle green glass. “ What’s this?” he says to Mrs. “ The sink” He looked at me, and we had one of those silent conversation with eyebrows Him- “ Ffs!” Me - “ You let her pick without looking at it didn’t you?” Him- “Aye… baaaastard!” Me - “ Curb your enthusiasm gif”

Mine would intermittently, but often enough to be a problem, lose power momentarily, but only whilst accelerating, never whilst cruising at a steady speed. Put it in to the dealer numerous times, and they didn’t have a fucking clue, to the point where I think they thought I was trying it on ( which made no sense?) 6 months after I bought it, I a took it to them and said “ fix the fucking thing or give me my money back, plus interest “ I was fairly agitated tbh I told them to give me an exact replacement and keep mine until it was fixed, which they did, tbf. Two weeks after I put it in, I got a call from a mechanic who’d been tasked with the problem- it was a tiny hole in one of the pistons. Fixed it and I kept it for 3 years without another issue.

It’s when Panda announced they were releasing a new size bottle of Blue pop.

What’s wrong with it? I had an A3 , brand new, fucked. Took ages to pinpoint the trouble

A breakfast island in the extended kitchen of a Victorian semi in Whitley Bay. “ Cressida, Julian, pass daddy the chia seeds please, Marra’s “

What is it? (Other than fucked)

Are Millwall getting the train to Newcastle and then the Metro?

👍 Aye, my Grandad was a Washington miner and spoke full-on Durham pitmatic, used to call me and my brother his little Marra’s. Dad used it too, although to a lesser degree. It’s very common to hear it in Eshintin and Bairdlintin and all the weird little villages near there. The association with the knuckleheads is purely down to their habit of typing in dialect, because they’re desperate have an identity.

Of the many, many things that pissed me off about Brexit, how it will impact the younger generations was the one that pissed ( and still pisses) me off the most. I had the time of my life working my way around the Alps and the Med, without having to even think about visas or work permits or any of that shit, and barely had to use my passport as I zipped back and forth over multiple borders. My kids won’t have that, unless someone has the balls to admit how badly we fucked up, and put it right.

How else is he going to light his tab?

I heard he was sacked for not giving some lad the exact same haircut every single one of the 3,500 Turkish barbers in Newcastle does, regardless of what the punter asks for.

Ah! I was actually stuck in traffic there, working for Sainsburys. Didn’t realise it was due to a BBQ though. Was the barber involved or did the Chronic stick him in the headline just because his shop was closest?

Speaking of shagging accountants… … this is fucking insane https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/av/surfing/68856022 28m is just over 93ft. ( The road deck of the Tyne Bridge is 84ft above the river, for comparison).

Eh?

Apparently someone has set themselves on fire outside the court where Trump is on trial. I hope it’s one (less) of his cultists.

Is that close to Ponteland Airport, marra?

I saw an ad for your Mrs. new business today.