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Monkeys Fist

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Everything posted by Monkeys Fist

  1. Monkeys Fist
    My pig’s tit fingers accidentally sent me back to the first page of this thread- Renty Babe nailing it 5 or 6 posts in.
  2. Monkeys Fist
    Wykiki turning up in full Theoden gear for the next meet.
  3. Monkeys Fist
    Because they understand that using “guy” will result in a swift kick in the minge
  4. Monkeys Fist
  5. Monkeys Fist
    Really? Let’s have it, Bacon dodger! ( I’m also teasing btw— mean, I just want to talk about my beloved club…)
  6. Monkeys Fist
    I actually know this lad- Yitzhak Bernstein, played for Sacred Heart u13s. Poor kid got loads of stick at school ‘cos his Dad was Welsh.
  7. Monkeys Fist
    I’ll be fucking furious if he gets it before Idris.
  8. Monkeys Fist
  9. Monkeys Fist
    Agree with all points above, however, Ben Kingsley probably could still play Gandhi as his real name is Krishna Pandit Bhanji, since his Dad was Gujarati. He’s got no chance at Mandela though
  10. Monkeys Fist
    Aye, right. No. 4 then.
  11. Monkeys Fist
    1-0 to Alex. I could argue whatever point you think you’re making, but you’re a whopper, so I’ve got more constructive ways to waste my life, cheers. I am, though, curious to know why you’ve suddenly shown up after I don’t care how long, full of piss and vinegar, and gone on a *checks notes, 2 day ( so far) crusade to win Cunt of the Month in record time? (Your choice of battle topics are dreary as fuck mind, Brexiteers and Antivaxxers bore the tits off me now, tbh. You could at least have tried something a bit more spicy?) But I digress, back to “why is this tit back and angry?”… because you are, aren’t you, as polite as you’re trying to be, your mask slips with predictable regularity and the little barbs show that you’re furious about something. Is it; 1- Your lass has had enough and fucked off with Pierre the dashing young waiter from what was once your favourite restaurant? 2- All your mates have had it with you telling them to “do your research” and ghosted you? 3- Your bank account is as empty as your soul, because the accumulated effects of Brexit and Covid have shafted you harder than a Lemon Stealing Whore? 4- All of the above? “ Blair is worse than Jimmy Savile”… honestly, are you surprised Pierre is sharing his tips with Mrs. A, coming out with gibberish like that?
  12. Monkeys Fist
  13. Monkeys Fist
    Nah mate, they’re Poomas.
  14. Monkeys Fist
    Less than a month after claiming “cancel culture will kill comedy”, Maureen Lipman is now having a pop at Helen Mirren for playing Golda Meir in an upcoming film, Lipman saying that it’s wrong because Mirren isn’t Jewish https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-59878356 My cured pork senses are tingling here- by her rationale, the bloke she uses as an example, Ben Kingsley, shouldn’t have played Gandhi, because Kingsley is a Quaker and Gandhi was Hindu. Rami Malek, the American Egyptian heterosexual Coptic Christian shouldn’t have played Freddie Mercury, the Zanzibari homosexual Zoroastrian. Daniel Day-Lewis the English Protestant/Jewish able-bodied lad shouldn’t have played Christy Brown, the Irish Catholic Disabled lad, not to mention Gerry Conlon. My point being her argument is fucking nonsense- acting is supposed to people playing characters that they aren’t. Tell me why I’m wrong. ( Is this how I do it Asprilla?)
  15. Monkeys Fist
    Have you really just explained to me why Jimmy Saville was a wrong’un ? Fuck me
  16. Monkeys Fist
    Paging @Kid Dynamite
  17. Monkeys Fist
    Immaculate conception?
  18. Monkeys Fist
    He looks like one of the pinheads from Freaks.
  19. Monkeys Fist
    Don’t know what you could possibly mean…
  20. Monkeys Fist
    You might’ve been better offering him a haircut. Yikes!
  21. Monkeys Fist
  22. Monkeys Fist
    Pint of what, though? The Devil’s in the details.
  23. Monkeys Fist
    He tried.
  24. Monkeys Fist
    What about that James Corden, how hilarious is he, eh? Laugh? I nearly fucked me mam.
  25. Monkeys Fist
    One at a time.… … preferably whilst it’s stationary
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