Monkeys Fist

Watched a film last night about a bloke who went round librarys pouring meat juices over the non-fiction books. It was baste on a true story.… I thangew.

FYP

Why wait? Here he is!

So, since it’s December and I’ve ran out of fireworks to annoy the neighbours with, I’ll post my favourite Christmas joke. After recording The Little Drummer Boy with Bing, Bowie noticed he was looking a bit glum. Bowie-“ Everything ok Bing?” Bing-“ Sorry David, my inflatable arse has a slow puncture…” Bowie-“ Sorry to hear that Bing, would you like to borrow my Rubber Bum Pump?” Bing-“ A Rubber Bum Pump?” Bowie-“ A Rubber Bum Pump.” Lick iz.

Is Charlie Brooker writing their script?

Are you me?

Every one loves a sailor- no politics, no BS.

Ffs

No chance the Tories will let anyone even slightly tanned be Big Boss.

I mean… come on!

What struck me on watching that video was, ” How did the Mirror get this?” It has to have come from inside No.10, much like Fat Mancock’s snogging video. If they want Johnson out, which is the whisper, this is maybe how they’ll do it.

I rang them to do just that, but they were out. Tricky fuckers.

They’re on four in a row now- two more seasons of turgid incompetence and they can finally live their dream.

@trooper- you’re slacking here mate, Gemmill’s getting the drop on you.

First time he’s ever been short of pies…

I’d also like to be a fly on the wall at the shareholders meetings when they explain why they’ve turned down big money profit on saleable players. “ Aye, but we’re all in this together …” “Get fucked- where’s my money?”

Oh no! We’ll have to buy cheaper foreign players and invest in our academy. What a blow to the richest club in the League. It’ll just make it all the sweeter when we’re regularly turning them all inside out.

What about The Big 1 and The Has Beens? Quite like the sound of that

I wonder if, once we get our shit together, they’ll make it a Big 7, or will someone get relegated to “The Rest”?

It was all going so well for them- “five in a roweh”, The Italian Fascist manger, Hippo Heed, then… fucking oblivion, and all of it recorded for our enjoyment. Maybe I’m wrong and there is a God

We know she’s got a bald fanny.…

There’s the problem- have a chat with the doc, they can help.

It’s sweet that KCG thinks someone on here loves him.