Monkeys Fist

That’s what Cilla called her chosen tonsorial stylings.

First link was someone saying we are close to getting Bakayoko Second one saying Miggy to Charlotte FC for £10mil. All replies are from Russian bots saying “ cry more, lefty!”

That first non-Christmas must’ve been such a depressing day. You’ve just gathered what’s left of your 20 kids from the hovel, and walked in to the village to watch the Kings Speech on the village Oil Painting. Peasant- “ Oroight moi lovers… what time is the King on?” Landlord - “ Err, you haven’t heard… the King is dead!” Peasant - “ Oh well, we’ll just have a lumpy zoider then, and head home for Chrizmuz gruel…” Landlord- “ Christmas? Haven’t you hea… .… never mind, this one’s on the house”.

Sorry Fixed it.

On a scale of 1 - Schnitezelgrüben, how much German did you have in you?

Aye, but I want the fucker to suffer for it now. You know, like the rest of us are.

This guy just sorted out my mobile monthly contract too. I think

A true European chant would be “ Oooh, Sandro Tonaaaaaali” To the tune of the opening bars of Seven Nation Army.… … for an entire half.

@AlbertSmith50 is there a fight on like? Hadn’t realised.…

FYFP

Alreet @Zoidberg, welcome onboard. As a natural cynic , I find the fact that you just said highly suspicious. Please correct this and tell us precisely what percentage you are Italian/Irish/aNative/Dutch/Korean etc. Cheers

Mrs. an oral hygienist, then?

“Ahh yes, The Tractor Boys, isn’t it? “ “ Sir Bobby Robson, hmm? “ “ That UEFA Cup win, jumpers for goalpost, hmm?” “ Mick Mills, Paul Mariner, isn’t it? “ “ The Toons will , as they say up there, fuckin’ howk them. 5-0, isn’t it? “

Of all the shitty things about Brexit, the one that pisses me off more than any other is that the moon-faced, pig-fucking cunt who’s weakness lead to the whole shitshow, seems to have avoided having his reputation dragged down with the clowns that followed him in to no. 10. Aaaand, the twat did the whole thing to appease the right wing of his party and stop the break up of the Tories. Went well, didn’t it David? Honestly, the fucker should have his name put in the Oxford Dictionary as the definition of “ Wrong”.

Got a couple of days off coming up so I’ll be taking commissions if anyone’s desperate

Please consider this a gift from a grateful student to his tutor. You taught me everything I don’t know.

Happy Titsmas

If you park next to the Greggs in Harlesden, this lad lives in the doorway there. He’ll watch your car for 10 tabs and 8 Ace.

I didn’t know you could speaka de lingua!

ffs

Just woke up, missed first half. *Checks score…

That comes under “Natural Collaboration and Individual Intensity”, Shirley? Bunce ✅

He finds puns to be a(s)palling. He’ll be ok, down a few slabs and he’ll be cured.

@Howmanheyman’s first gaff, post beer shart?