Monkeys Fist

Fyp

They’re waiting for the jizz to dry first…

Doesn’t he just bury them on his golf course?

I heard the drones were his own personal nappy delivery and disposal service. The weight involved in the disposals necessitates the car-sized units.

Missed a trick not having it on one of these

11/10?

Not too well known, but before Little Richard became a Rock and Roll star, he worked as a gardener in Newcastle’s City Allotments. At the end of a particularly heavy day, he was asked what work he'd done. “ Ah lopped all the rhubarb, ah lopped bamboo.”

That’ll do me, Edward.

PaddockLad does do more gigs, aye.

When did Morgan Freeman play Thomas Hearns?

Thanks to a fairly brutal dose of Man Flu, I am currently nothing more than a bodily fluids production unit. Sweat, snot, tears, saliva, piss, shitewater, all on fucking overdrive. BASTARD! That is all.

I believe you. Totally.

You been reading other people’s emails again?

William Storey will be furious

There’s already an ‘actor’ called Lee Ryder, but you might want to check his IMDb privately

Alreet Quiff! How’s the ex?

Aye, rural drink driving is fucking rampant. There are certain euphemisms which news outlets use when they don’t want to be sued to hell, and “spent an evening with friends” is one.

Thank god the BBC News department isn’t overrun by Tories, then.

Whoa! How did you get into the Barron Knights’ bedroom?

“ The Like Lads”

If it was anyone else, I wouldn’t bother, but… … you do know that’s a parody site, don’t you?