Monkeys Fist

Having an unplanned extra night in the Death Wagon, in the middle of North Wales- only source of bait is the M&S Food garage next to where I’m parked. Ffs.

Juno Temple. Have at it chaps.

Sounds dreamy !

@Dr Gloom have you tried sucking your middle finger?

Steven Taylor has a boyfriend?

Not long after , he met his wife-to-be, who spent all her time at the top of the local church tower. Lovely lass, Isabell.

They did- he went into the karaoke business with a Sikh mate, Gerupti Singh.

Worked with a Scot’s lad who’d go to the pub every night and then collapse 2ft from his front door. Called him Hamish.

Aside from the hit to their reputation, they’ll find the fines utterly crippling.

I used to train with a Sikh Gymnastics champion. Balan Singh.

I knew her Chinese mate, similarly a unidexter. Irene.

I’d seen that, and it’d be nice to recoup even a small portion of the money, but honestly, I want to see prison sentences for those involved. Proper ones, since financial crimes does seem to draw longer sentences than violent crimes under our justice system.

Aye. I was reading about the Covid inquiry today, lots of testimony from NHS staff, patients and relatives of victims. All very good stuff, but the real inquiry should be in to how many BILLIONS of pounds were backhanded directly in the pockets of Tory donors/cronies/mates. To me, it’s the biggest UK crime so far this century and there doesn’t seem to be any great hurry to prosecute the cunts who perpetrated it.

Aye, needs something to lubricate her throat. l

Just a point of pedantry re. Trump being funny. He’s not funny, he’s laughable. Mainly because he completely lacks a sense of humour. Obama is funny, he has a dry wit. Bush is funny, he plays up his Good Ole Boy persona- they have a sense of humour, and crucially, can laugh at themselves. I honestly can’t think of a single instance where I’ve seen Trump laughing at himself or someone else making a joke.

Phstevied YP

The ones that Geordie Bangers do are like a Boxing Day turd wrapped in pastry… Glorious!

Not soon enough

I knew a Japanese lad that fell in love with a blow-up doll. He just thought she was rubbery.

I knew a lad with no feet. Neil. His brother had no shins Tony.

I made it three paragraphs in before launching my phone- anyone able to make it all the way through Laura’s little tantrum piece here? https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cx28d72948vo

Reversed in to a lamp post- no serious damage, just a little al dente?

Name that DJ.

Easy. The Smiths.