Inochi

I'm waiting to see what team I get before I cough up.

Better effort than mine.

Any ability the lad might have is far outweighed by the fact he had a picture taken of him making a '3-0' gesture with his hands. That horrific act alone would physically prevent him from playing well in our shirt. He hates Newcastle and our fans so much, he's signed for us to deliberately play as bad as he possibly can, with the sole aim of becoming at least eight times more hated than he already is. Fucking ginger cunt.

Shola fucking loves Newcastle. Lives here and everything. I've never even heard him mention Australia, never mind Sydney.

You should call that little creation 'mushrooms'.

The Returned was very, very good. Ever so slightly underwhelming final episode, which I imagine was down to them getting a second series. Some questions answered, with a lot more created on the back of them. I did like Lost, but I hope that this doesn't go the same way. Read that the new series isn't expected until 2015 now, which is a bit of a shitter.

Somewhat excessive.

They offered him a new contract, which he rejected.

Think the Colback signing, if it does come off, will be a pretty good one. I've always thought he looked a good player, and very versatile. As an aside, I am bored to tears of the overdramatic responses, by our fans on social media, to any snippet of transfer gossip. We're beginning to sound very much like a bunch of spoilt children.

Go on then. I am in - can you tell?

Really chuffed for him. Well done big Shols.

Notepad and pen at the ready.

That's what I'm hoping for. Saying that, he's lucky to have (and me too, i guess) a mam who is already very clued up, through experience with siblings and friends babies.

Mint. Just done some very careful googling, and seen that it's probably due this year. I imagine that it's going to end with questions aplenty unanswered.

This is getting complicated. I'm the good cop, like. No doubt about it. She's great at bossing me about and telling me off, so bad cop is her natural role. Born to do it, etc.

I agree with the idea, like. I'm yet to see how I'll feel about enforcing it, though. Apparently, I didn't cry much at all as a child, but I am proper hard as fuck. Think it might be unfair to expect the same of my seed, at least for the first couple of weeks.

It's invaluable, for me at least, to read these kind of life experiences, rather than asking for actual advice. I've found that, when someone thinks they are giving advice, they can wear their negative experiences as some kind of medal of honour. Get them talking about general experiences, though, and things become a lot more positive.

Thanks all, appreciate it. @@Happy Face - Yeah, we're very much aware of the need to be flexible. You're effectively at the mercy of nature. Any deviation from the 'plan', whilst disappointing, should hopefully not be too much of a major issue. Having said that, I'll probably pack a thermometer now! We've had a chuckle at some of the parents to be at the classes we've been to, talking with absolute certainty of how they're births have to go. The whole maternity department, and the staff, seem to be fantastic. So I'm sure that whatever happens, we'll be in good hands. @@trooper / @Dr Gloom - Luckily, she is set on breastfeeding - as long as the little man takes to it. I offered zero resistance to this decision. I'm genuinely intrigued to see how big they'll get. @@Monkeys Fist - Thanks. Similar to my Dads advice after my worried questions surrounding the practicalities of sleeping/eating/shitting/bathing: 'You'll find a way'.

It is, aye.

Cheers mate. Yeah, it does seem a brilliant place, like. Doesn't even smell like a hospital, which was what really hit me. She has her heart set on a water birth, and the pools looked brilliant. We're trying to prepare ourselves for every eventuality, but I would be very disappointed if do end up having to go upstairs. The difference is night and day. The lack of restrictions on visitors, and visiting times is massive too, as her family will be travelling up when the time comes.

Spent the weekend putting the finishing touches to our nursery, and went for a tour of Newcastle Birthing Centre at the RVI. Little over a month to go, and the excitement (for me) is only now really starting to build. Feels good, man.

Four episodes into The Returned. Absolutely gripping, fantastic television. Already gutted that there's only one series.

I have absolutely no doubt that it'll be the worst it could possibly be.

It's not real, lads.

Appears to be positive news, that. Not a lot being said about any other clubs reported interest materialising into bids. We're stuck with Pardew, so the more talented players we bring in, the better chance we've got of doing (relatively) well next season. Apologies for the relatively positive post.