Dazzler 9269 Posted April 11 Share Posted April 11 26 minutes ago, Monkeys Fist said: I was sitting on a bench having my bait the other when this old dear came and sat down with her chihuahua. It kept jumping up at my ankles, begging for some tasty morsels, so I turned to the old biddy and said “ Is it ok if I throw your wee dog a bit?” ” Of course, yes” she said. So picked the little rat up and chucked it in to the traffic. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sonatine 11271 Posted April 11 Share Posted April 11 35 minutes ago, Monkeys Fist said: I was sitting on a bench having my bait the other when this old dear came and sat down with her chihuahua. It kept jumping up at my ankles, begging for some tasty morsels, so I turned to the old biddy and said “ Is it ok if I throw your wee dog a bit?” ” Of course, yes” she said. So picked the little rat up and chucked it in to the traffic. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wykikitoon 19801 Posted April 11 Share Posted April 11 1 hour ago, Monkeys Fist said: I was sitting on a bench having my bait the other when this old dear came and sat down with her chihuahua. It kept jumping up at my ankles, begging for some tasty morsels, so I turned to the old biddy and said “ Is it ok if I throw your wee dog a bit?” ” Of course, yes” she said. So picked the little rat up and chucked it in to the traffic. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 21756 Posted April 11 Author Share Posted April 11 1 hour ago, Monkeys Fist said: I was sitting on a bench having my bait the other when this old dear came and sat down with her chihuahua. It kept jumping up at my ankles, begging for some tasty morsels, so I turned to the old biddy and said “ Is it ok if I throw your wee dog a bit?” ” Of course, yes” she said. So picked the little rat up and chucked it in to the traffic. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ewerk 30159 Posted April 11 Share Posted April 11 1 hour ago, Monkeys Fist said: I was sitting on a bench having my bait the other when this old dear came and sat down with her chihuahua. It kept jumping up at my ankles, begging for some tasty morsels, so I turned to the old biddy and said “ Is it ok if I throw your wee dog a bit?” ” Of course, yes” she said. So picked the little rat up and chucked it in to the traffic. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 11073 Posted April 12 Share Posted April 12 15 hours ago, Monkeys Fist said: I was sitting on a bench having my bait the other when this old dear came and sat down with her . It kept jumping up at my ankles, begging for some tasty morsels, so I turned to the old biddy and said “ Is it ok if I throw your wee dog a bit?” ” Of course, yes” she said. So picked the little rat up and chucked it in to the traffic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holden McGroin 6451 Posted April 12 Share Posted April 12 I just got sacked from my job at the Ice-cream parlour. I refused to work Sundaes. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 44090 Posted April 12 Share Posted April 12 You've spelt Sundays wrong. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 44090 Posted April 12 Share Posted April 12 Sorry to hear about the job BTW. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trophyshy 7066 Posted April 12 Share Posted April 12 40 minutes ago, Holden McGroin said: I just got sacked from my job at the Ice-cream parlour. I refused to work on Sundaes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 44090 Posted April 12 Share Posted April 12 You as well?! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dazzler 9269 Posted April 12 Share Posted April 12 1 hour ago, Holden McGroin said: I just got sacked from my job at the Ice-cream parlour. I refused to work Sundaes. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wardi 181 Posted April 12 Share Posted April 12 I managed to burn my Hawaiian pizza in the oven last night. Maybe I should have tried aloha setting. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dazzler 9269 Posted April 12 Share Posted April 12 2 minutes ago, Wardi said: I managed to burn my Hawaiian pizza in the oven last night. Maybe I should have tried aloha setting. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ewerk 30159 Posted April 12 Share Posted April 12 3 minutes ago, Wardi said: I managed to burn my Hawaiian pizza in the oven last night. Maybe I should have tried aloha setting. Do you work in a Christmas cracker factory? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 41888 Posted April 12 Share Posted April 12 1 hour ago, ewerk said: Do you work in a Christmas cracker factory? Only on sundaes 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meenzer 15342 Posted April 12 Share Posted April 12 11 minutes ago, Monkeys Fist said: Only on sundaes You've spelt Sundays wrong. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 11073 Posted April 12 Share Posted April 12 53 minutes ago, Monkeys Fist said: Only on sundaes 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tdansmith 3201 Posted April 12 Share Posted April 12 A man and his wife were having some problems and giving each other the silent treatment. The next week, the man realised he’d need his wife to wake him at 5 a.m. for an early flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence, he finally wrote on a piece of paper: “Please wake me at 5 a.m.” The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9 a.m. and he’d missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and scream at his wife when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed that said: “It’s 5 a.m. Wake up. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tdansmith 3201 Posted April 12 Share Posted April 12 A World known Wasp expert hears that a copy of an impossible to get vinyl 12” of wasp sounds is available to purchase in London so make the trip half way around the World to buy it… turning up at the record store, he asks the salesperson to play the record so he can check it for quality. Anyway, after a few tracks the Wasp expert has become enraged at the waste of time given that the recording is not of rare wasps as he had been told. He is an expert and knows his stuff! Shamefaced, the salesperson checks the record and concludes that he had played the Bee side instead. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 41888 Posted April 12 Share Posted April 12 3 minutes ago, Tdansmith said: A World known Wasp expert hears that a copy of an impossible to get vinyl 12” of wasp sounds is available to purchase in London so make the trip half way around the World to buy it… turning up at the record store, he asks the salesperson to play the record so he can check it for quality. Anyway, after a few tracks the Wasp expert has become enraged at the waste of time given that the recording is not of rare wasps as he had been told. He is an expert and knows his stuff! Shamefaced, the salesperson checks the record and concludes that he had played the Bee side instead. There’s a Viz advert for everything 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 11073 Posted April 13 Share Posted April 13 13 hours ago, Tdansmith said: A World known Wasp expert hears that a copy of an impossible to get vinyl 12” of wasp sounds is available to purchase in London so make the trip half way around the World to buy it… turning up at the record store, he asks the salesperson to play the record so he can check it for quality. Anyway, after a few tracks the Wasp expert has become enraged at the waste of time given that the recording is not of rare wasps as he had been told. He is an expert and knows his stuff! Shamefaced, the salesperson checks the record and concludes that he had played the Bee side instead. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 32595 Posted April 13 Share Posted April 13 Don't know about wasps but you can tell it's that time of the year again, unbelievably got stung by a bee leaving Sainsbury's yesterday. £5.99 for a fucking jar of honey! 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 44090 Posted April 13 Share Posted April 13 Yeah that's quite expensive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 10659 Posted April 13 Share Posted April 13 I accidentally bought a pot of manuka honey, only realised when I went through the receipt of a surprisingly expensive shop. £18 for a fucking jar of honey! 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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