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Alan Pardew - Poltroon sacked by a forrin team


Kid Dynamite
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What does Pardew Deserve?  

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Yeah, Carver.... not really an oasis of serenity and calm on the touchline is he?....

 

Pardew wont be back in a stadium on match day this season, thats for sure...are they likely to ban him for say half a dozen games next season too?...if they do, Ashley will have a decision to make.

 

Ince got 5 games, he apparently pushed a lino at Bournemouth. A supporter attempting to stick the nut on anyone inside the ground would get a 3 year banning order. If they decide to make a real example of him then the "PARDEW OUT" brigade may well get their wish...

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Mourinho tried to gouge out the-then Barcelona manger's eye out. Vilanova I believe it was. What was his punishment? - A two match ban.

 

 

Pardew flicked his head slightly forward not causing any injury upon David Meyler whatsoever and the FA charge him £100,000 + possibly more to come from Newcastle. Pathetic.

Pardew's passionateness is second to none.

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Mourinho tried to gouge out the-then Barcelona manger's eye out. Vilanova I believe it was. What was his punishment? - A two match ban.

 

 

Pardew flicked his head slightly forward not causing any injury upon David Meyler whatsoever and the FA charge him £100,000 + possibly more to come from Newcastle. Pathetic.

Pardew's passionateness is second to none.

I love his passionateness.

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other way around we fined him 100k fa hasn't yet

My bad......

 

I love his passionateness.

 

 

Only just surpassed by his cuntishnessness.

 

Freddie Sheperd asking people to leave Pardew alone.

It is a word.

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If you want to sack someone, and avoid paying up their contract as in a normal football manager firing, you'd better be onside with employment law

 

Ashley doesnt need a lawyer - he headbutted someone! :lol:

Edited by Phil
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:lol: I've noticed them doing this a lot mind the sad cocks. Writing letters to the FA if they see offences by NUFC players they don't think are being picked up on, calling the police for things like this, canny sure they had a one where they all wrote letters to the police about an on pitch incident with our players. They really need to get jobs tbh.

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:lol: I've noticed them doing this a lot mind the sad cocks. Writing letters to the FA if they see offences by NUFC players they don't think are being picked up on, calling the police for things like this, canny sure they had a one where they all wrote letters to the police about an on pitch incident with our players. They really need to get jobs tbh.

 

i don't know why they are calling the police there is only 1 person who can make a compliant against pardew and its not any of the turkeys on rtg

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If Vince McMahon of the WWE ever gets around to buying Newcastle United then the first person sent to wrestler school should be Alan Pardew. Whatever his undoubted abilities as a manager, he can’t throw a convincing headbutt for toffee.

As everyone familiar with the muscular pantomime of professional wrestling knows, a good phoney butt is simple to pull off. It should be telegraphed with much gurning, aimed with maximum backlift and, ideally, landed with a stamp of the right foot to create a convincing thump on ‘impact’.

 

The victim, for his part, should fall immediately to the ground, writhing like an electrocuted python. He must clutch his face as though he has caught an eyeful of pepper spray, before getting to his feet and staggering groggily around, while the crowd goes bananas.

 

The phoney headbutt is sports entertainment 101 and quite frankly, if Pardew can’t master a decent Glasgow kiss, then I don’t much fancy his chances should he ever really lose his rag and decide to dole out some more complex punishment to an opposing player or coach — putting Manuel Pellegrini in the Walls of Jericho, say, or decking Tom Cleverley with a Tombstone Piledriver.

 

Now, I know what you’re thinking. Don’t joke. Alan Pardew is a very naughty boy. His vicious assault on Hull City’s David Meyler on Saturday brought shame upon himself, Newcastle United, the Premier League and the whole sport of football.

 

The fine of £100,000, imposed more or less instantly by his club, barely begins to reflect the wickedness of his actions. He should be punished with the utmost severity by the Football Association — fined, banned, sacked, put in the public stocks, tied to a hurdle, dragged by horses to the public gallows and hanged.

 

Only then will English football begin to erase the shame that has been wrought upon it by this man, this terrible man, who so brutally nuzzled another man in the face with his face, a bit like a ewe sniffing the scent of its lamb in the first tender moments after birth.

 

Because, really, let’s be honest: that was what Alan Pardew — decent manager, absolute buffoon — did at the weekend, wasn’t it?

 

Violence — real, ugly, filthy, bloody, fist-in-your-gob physical assault — is almost never seen in top-level football these days. Bad tackles, yes. A bit of squaring up, now and again. Occasionally a toddler bite. Flying fists and broken noses? No.

 

In place of actual fisticuffs, however, there has developed a sort of mimed representation of violence, in which men like Pardew go through the motions of attacking one another, while seldom making contact and never actually wounding any one.

 

It’s like hoolie capoeira — fighting without fighting — a pretence at aggression that is, curiously, treated by spectators, pundits and the authorities as though it were completely real.

 

Without wishing to cast myself as the boy in the Emperor’s New Clothes, I do find this puzzling. As soon as Pardew ‘headbutted’ Meyler on Saturday, two internet videos went viral. The first was of the incident itself. The second was of the Sky Sports anchor Jeff Stelling reacting to the incident.

 

“Ooooooohhhgggghhuuurrrrghgghhhhggggg!” howled Stelling, as though he had just witnessed Pardew pull out a sharpened toothbrush in the prison showers and shank poor Meyler through the heart. Stelling was trying to convey horror. It seemed more like he was having a multiple orgasm.

 

Which said it all. Football’s sanitised reality no longer offers very much that is genuinely shocking. Yet the age of constant analysis, rolling news and endless online scrutiny craves a diet of controversy, sensation and incident.

 

Nothing is too small to be exaggerated. Nothing too inconsequential to have severe consequences.

 

I expect the FA will throw the book at Pardew, as per Stelling’s horrified-horndog suggestion. When they do, they will simply be partaking in the mass popular delusion.

 

And I know what you’re thinking. “Ah, but what about the children? Bad Alan Pardew has set them a very bad influence. They will all be out there now, gently nuzzling each other in the face like there’s no tomorrow.”

 

And to that I would say that if you worry that your offspring will copy anything that a berk like Alan Pardew does, then you should ask yourself some rather deeper questions about the quality of your parenting. Over and out.

 

Dan Jones - Evening Standard

 

 

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The hysteria is because it is the first time it has happened in front of tv cameras.If another manager does it this weekend,the lynch mob would soon disappear.Similar hysteria would have been around at the time of the first player shown on tv to headbutt an opponent.I still think his ban will extend into next season.

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