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Platty Joobs


BalarnyStone
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47 minutes ago, Monkeys Fist said:

I did not know PaddockLad lived on a Soap opera set :lol:

 

Are you the grumpy old cunt with a heart of gold/stone character? 


No, I’m just a cunt :lol:

 

We’re moving a mile and a half, much bigger gaff, off road parking, huge garden, two bathrooms etc etc, as quiet as a grave too due to only one side of the road having houses, the other side backs on to school playing fields ….in the same road as an old mate who I played Sunday football with in the 90s, his missus has just got over a course of chemo for breast cancer, they’re in the Bahamas at the moment,  understandably now making every second count, it’s going to FUCKING GREAT :)

 

 

 

 

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38 minutes ago, wykikitoon said:

School playing fields? 

 

Wow. That's gonna be fun when the kids are going to be making a noise when playing? Or is It a deaf school? 


Don’t know about you mate, but me and the current Mrs PL are at work well before and after the times there’s generally kids in the school. Also, it’s entirely in keeping with your curmudgeonly Yorkshire persona to seemingly have issues with the sound of primary school children  playing outside :cuppa:

 

 

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2 hours ago, PaddockLad said:

Got back from the in laws about 4 pm just in time to see some of the neighbours huddled beneath a couple of shitty Homebase pagodas during a glorious early summer monsoon, outside the home of a couple of rug munchers who last year parked a couple of cars in front of our house for a fortnight when they were selling them. The new people from the rental house across the road from us were there, she’s at least 25 stone, he’s got facial tattoos. Couldn’t see the woman from next door to us, the one who has been sending us letters of complaint about the noise our ferocious devil-like blood curdling fuckin  cockapoo makes, in a similar vein to every single shitty passive aggressive  conversation we’ve had with her in the seven years we’ve been here, where everything we say to her is immediately run through her sad, lonely mind, which she then verbalises so we understand immediately how this thing we’ve mentioned will affect her; “YOU’VE GOT A DOG?  I HAVENT HEARD IT”, but she’d have undoubtedly been there, these social fuckin outcasts are precisely her people.…..anyway, as you can imagine, we’ve had our mortagage offer through and the survey on our new home is being done next week, we’ll probably be gone by the end of July, thank fuckin Christ  :) If these are the local Royalists then those Scotch/German parasites up in London are in real fuckin trouble… I hope they all got fuckin soaked ….

 

 

(The lad on the other side pulled up in his T5 just after us, he’s great , so is his senior nurse practitioner missus who has worked 12 hour nights at Poole Hospital throughout the pandemic. He dived straight into his house too, no sign of the two lasses from directly opposite either, one has just turned 50 and told us she was going out Thursday/Friday/Saturday with a succession of increasingly unsuitable men, one of whom plainly bats for the other side…she seems happy enough though, she’s likely just getting up…the other girl is similar age but far more reserved in the nicest way, she completely belies the title of the old song “I’ve never met a nice South African she’s lovely ,as were the couple who lived there till this time last year, who are the only neighbours I’ve ever had who I was disappointed to see move, but they’re not far away and we’ve been out for outlandishly expensive Sunday lunches with them on a fairly regular basis . l add this just in case you think we actually live in some sort of south coast outpost of the third circle of hell :D ) 

 

 

 

Let us know whodunnit, Mr Midsomer Murders. 

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5 minutes ago, PaddockLad said:


Don’t know about you mate, but me and the current Mrs PL are at work well before and after the times there’s generally kids in the school. Also, it’s entirely in keeping with your curmudgeonly Yorkshire persona to seemingly have issues with the sound of primary school children  playing outside :cuppa:

 

 


He’s just jealous as he could never buy that house on account of not being allowed within 500 yards of a primary school.

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1 hour ago, ewerk said:


He’s just jealous as he could never buy that house on account of not being allowed within 500 yards of a primary school.

I was going to make a similar jibe at PL but thought it was a bit low. 🤣

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25 minutes ago, wykikitoon said:

I was going to make a similar jibe at PL but thought it was a bit low. 🤣


I was going to say it about Gemmill but thought the same….he’s got enough problems as it is tbf, living in a tent after his 7th divorce can’t be easy 

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59 minutes ago, PaddockLad said:


I was going to say it about Gemmill but thought the same….he’s got enough problems as it is tbf, living in a tent after his 7th divorce can’t be easy 

 

Suspect traits

 

* Tendency to lash out when feels threatened. *

 

tenor.gif

 

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17 hours ago, wykikitoon said:

School playing fields? 

 

Wow. That's gonna be fun when the kids are going to be making a noise when playing? Or is It a deaf school? 

You do realise it’s the kids at the school who are deaf and not the people who live near them, don’t you? ;) 

Edited by Alex
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Just reminded myself of my grandad who would always ask how I’d done after playing football and, if we’d won, would invariably follow that up with “Who were you playing? The blind school?” 

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14 minutes ago, Alex said:

Just reminded myself of my grandad who would always ask how I’d done after playing football and, if we’d won, would invariably follow that up with “Who were you playing? The blind school?” 

Jarra blind school was the phrase of my youth - I have no idea to this day if there was such a school there. 

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15 hours ago, wykikitoon said:

School playing fields? 

 

Wow. That's gonna be fun when the kids are going to be making a noise when playing? Or is It a deaf school? 


Deaf people still make noise, Wykiki. Or at least the ones I’ve shagged

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  • 3 months later...

I’ve invited all the neighbours round for PLANTY JOOBS, but they don’t seem too keen. 
 

There’s BBQ, beers, live stream of the grave, song sheets for the singalong, full works, but no RSVPs back yet. 
 

 

check-it-out-dr-steve-brule.gif

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