Wullie 0 Posted April 5, 2006 Share Posted April 5, 2006 S-O is a fucking comic genius What's more, I get the feeling he's telling the truth, at least some of the time 115702[/snapback] I'm telling the truth all of the time, these stories are true, hence my reputation and nickname! A bit of advice, even if it's just for a short period you should all work as a night porter in a city centre hotel. The situations you can find yourself in are incredible. Like when I was bucking a lass in her room and my pager went off so i used this lasses room phone to answer the pager, itwas my fucking lass asking if she could come in for a shag in the jacuzzi. She was at the door in nowt but a overcoat! So I shoot my muck faster than a speeding bullet and hot footed it down to let her in before one of Gateshead finest snatched her of the street. She couldn't understand why I couldn't get it up for her and thought i mustn't fancy her anymore. Took me half an hour to get hard! 115709[/snapback] Christ Almighty! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renton 18087 Posted April 5, 2006 Share Posted April 5, 2006 S-O is a fucking comic genius What's more, I get the feeling he's telling the truth, at least some of the time 115702[/snapback] He reminds me of a latter day Geordie "Alfie" tbh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peasepud 59 Posted April 5, 2006 Share Posted April 5, 2006 it has everything to do with taste actually its extremely varying 115717[/snapback] Please.....go on. 115720[/snapback] drink pineapple juice Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 35660 Posted April 5, 2006 Share Posted April 5, 2006 (edited) S-O is a fucking comic genius What's A bit of advice, even if it's just for a short period you should all work as a night porter in a city centre hotel. The situations you can find yourself in are incredible. 115709[/snapback] No, the situations YOU can find yourself in are incredible. I can't see me finding myself in anything like the situations you describe. Edited April 5, 2006 by Gemmill Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckyluke 1 Posted April 5, 2006 Share Posted April 5, 2006 S-O is a fucking comic genius What's A bit of advice, even if it's just for a short period you should all work as a night porter in a city centre hotel. The situations you can find yourself in are incredible. 115709[/snapback] No, the situations YOU can find yourself in are incredible. I can't see me finding myself in anything like the situations you describe. 115728[/snapback] True, hotels don't employ gingers, they scare the customers away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
k4t0 0 Posted April 5, 2006 Share Posted April 5, 2006 Skinny, nice arse, not too bathered about massive tits but in proportion is all good. kiera knightley, aguilera, kate beckinsale etc.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ally 0 Posted April 5, 2006 Share Posted April 5, 2006 Another gold thread, fucking hell! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manc-mag 1 Posted April 5, 2006 Author Share Posted April 5, 2006 S-O is a fucking comic genius What's more, I get the feeling he's telling the truth, at least some of the time 115702[/snapback] I'm telling the truth all of the time, these stories are true, hence my reputation and nickname! A bit of advice, even if it's just for a short period you should all work as a night porter in a city centre hotel. The situations you can find yourself in are incredible. Like when I was bucking a lass in her room and my pager went off so i used this lasses room phone to answer the pager, itwas my fucking lass asking if she could come in for a shag in the jacuzzi. She was at the door in nowt but a overcoat! So I shoot my muck faster than a speeding bullet and hot footed it down to let her in before one of Gateshead finest snatched her of the street. She couldn't understand why I couldn't get it up for her and thought i mustn't fancy her anymore. Took me half an hour to get hard! 115709[/snapback] You are on fire today Smoothie. 115712[/snapback] On heat more like. Though I dont doubt he's experienced a few burning sensations in his time too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catmag 336 Posted April 5, 2006 Share Posted April 5, 2006 On heat more like. Though I dont doubt he's experienced a few burning sensations in his time too. 115743[/snapback] Burning?! I'm surprised it hasn't dropped off! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manc-mag 1 Posted April 5, 2006 Author Share Posted April 5, 2006 Skinny, nice arse, not too bathered about massive tits but in proportion is all good. kiera knightley, aguilera, kate beckinsale etc.... 115735[/snapback] Kiera Knightley doesnt actually own a pair of knockers. FACT, FACT (BLACK AND WHITE ARMY!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catmag 336 Posted April 5, 2006 Share Posted April 5, 2006 FACT, FACT (BLACK AND WHITE ARMY!) 115745[/snapback] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jimbo 133 Posted April 5, 2006 Share Posted April 5, 2006 this is more my type: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckypierre 0 Posted April 5, 2006 Share Posted April 5, 2006 or a bird with parkinsons? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wullie 0 Posted April 5, 2006 Share Posted April 5, 2006 FACT, FACT (BLACK AND WHITE ARMY!) 115745[/snapback] I'm in stitches here! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckyluke 1 Posted April 5, 2006 Share Posted April 5, 2006 Skinny, nice arse, not too bathered about massive tits but in proportion is all good. kiera knightley, aguilera, kate beckinsale etc.... 115735[/snapback] Kiera Knightley doesnt actually own a pair of knockers. FACT, FACT (BLACK AND WHITE ARMY!) 115745[/snapback] Much as I hate to dispute such a resounding FACT, she must have the fake ones she wore in Pirates of the Carribean in a cupboard somewhere. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ewerk 26870 Posted April 5, 2006 Share Posted April 5, 2006 Skinny, nice arse, not too bathered about massive tits but in proportion is all good. kiera knightley, aguilera, kate beckinsale etc.... 115735[/snapback] Kiera Knightley doesnt actually own a pair of knockers. FACT, FACT (BLACK AND WHITE ARMY!) 115745[/snapback] Much as I hate to dispute such a resounding FACT, she must have the fake ones she wore in Pirates of the Carribean in a cupboard somewhere. 115754[/snapback] They were painted on, now that is a factarooney. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jusoda Kid 1 Posted April 5, 2006 Share Posted April 5, 2006 Prefer getting a shag to a blowjob tbh. Not averse to either like 115682[/snapback] Me too. It takes me ages to come from a blow job unless the bird is a true connoisseur of oral fulfillment. Once pulled a lass who was staying in the hotel i was working night shift in, she was sucking me off for an hour before she got lock jaw and decided to sit on my face instead. Who was I to stop her? 115698[/snapback] I like a big set of tits with nipples like cobblers thumbs, body wise something to hold on to with a nice dark bush that makes her look like she's got a young Don King clamped between her thighs, preferably trimmed around the bomb doors but I'm not fussy. If my memory serves me correctly I think you'll find the real reason you couldn't blow your beans was the fact that her husband was in the adjoining room waiting of her returning from you sawing her in half, coupled with your guilt and paranoia this thought alone was having a serious affect on your ability to squirt, and according to you has done ever since in the oral stakes, well at least thats what you told me after your usual 4 pints. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 35660 Posted April 5, 2006 Share Posted April 5, 2006 Prefer getting a shag to a blowjob tbh. Not averse to either like 115682[/snapback] Me too. It takes me ages to come from a blow job unless the bird is a true connoisseur of oral fulfillment. Once pulled a lass who was staying in the hotel i was working night shift in, she was sucking me off for an hour before she got lock jaw and decided to sit on my face instead. Who was I to stop her? 115698[/snapback] I like a big set of tits with nipples like cobblers thumbs, body wise something to hold on to with a nice dark bush that makes her look like she's got a young Don King clamped between her thighs, preferably trimmed around the bomb doors but I'm not fussy. 115779[/snapback] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Toplass-101 Posted April 5, 2006 Share Posted April 5, 2006 TL's Type: Kind, Intelligent, Funny, Energetic, Romantic, Perv, Industrious, Understanding, Clever, Gentle, Thoughtful, Nutcase, Sensitive, Polite, Tall, non-smoking beer monster/geordie soul mate. Not much to ask, is it. PS. if this is you PM me (references required). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NJS 4017 Posted April 5, 2006 Share Posted April 5, 2006 I think the sexiest feature a woman can have is her smile - pretty but miserable is pointless. Recently I've realised I have a thing for thickish eyebrows - see Keira Knightly and Kate Winslett and I'd also echo the "english rose" sentiment. Don't worry though - I like nice arses as well Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zathras 234 Posted April 5, 2006 Share Posted April 5, 2006 (edited) Generally go for the shorter women, and brown hair, though have a thing for red heads at times. Self confident but secure enough to ask for help when needed and knowing her limitations. (in a good way.) Not too bothered about size of tits, but I've always liked a good back/backside. Not just the arse, but the whole back. Edited April 5, 2006 by Zathras Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jimbo 133 Posted April 5, 2006 Share Posted April 5, 2006 Ticks in the right boxes for me are: Sense of humour Big Norks Curvy figure Short Dark hair, short or long not bothered. Brown eyes Intelligent Not possessive Understanding Passionate Dirty in the bedroom. A high tolerance to masturbating. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brock Manson 0 Posted April 5, 2006 Share Posted April 5, 2006 Brunette Shoulder-length hair Brown eyes Funny Attractive Smart Sexy accent Ahem. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jusoda Kid 1 Posted April 5, 2006 Share Posted April 5, 2006 Brunette Shoulder-length hair Brown eyes Funny Attractive Smart Sexy accent Ahem. 115816[/snapback] David Ginola, because he's worth it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sicklee Sausage Roll 0 Posted April 5, 2006 Share Posted April 5, 2006 (edited) Taller men (6' and up), height/weight proportionate. More rough and masculine really- this softened metro sexual effeminate look just kills me. Can't be having that, or a short bloke who looks like if he got in a scuffle at the local that you'd be the one saving his arse that day. Short men are against the laws of nature and should be culled accordingly. Yes, I'm talking height and penile size here for clarification lads. 115379[/snapback] Come on Mags, keep it out the gutter. It's not like any of us lads have felt the need to say 'massive clits' is it?! Though Gemmill is yet to post I admit. 115383[/snapback] Reckon some of the guys here wouldn't know what to do with a clit tbh, and even more wouldn't want to be bothered . And there's been enough conversations about beestings, tits, boobs, norks, baps, piss flaps, lettuce and the like in the recent past to make up for one reference to male genitalia. Deal with it. *Hung like a mouse, aren't you shortarse?* 115388[/snapback] That post reeks of penis envy. Oh, and I'll take anyone that's daft enough to want me. Edited April 5, 2006 by Sicklee Sausage Roll Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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