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His T Shirt is worthy of as many tickets as he likes tbh

Here's Opta's latest view, updated today. Weve got an 80% chance of CL per their model, Chelsea's is half that, and Villa's is only 10%. From the remaining fixtures, they expect teams to pick up points as follows: Man City: +8 points from 4 played. Forest: +8 points from 5 Us: +6 points from 4 Chelsea: + 5/6 points from 4 Villa: + 7 points from 4

That's entirely disrespectful to his teammates. Big Joe, Tonali and Bruno are far better players. Come on Jacob, do better.

I’ll happily carry on with the opposite, thanks.

They're just rubbing your nose in it now.

a mere hour till ballot result time for the last home game, indeed game of a historic season and so much could be riding on it. the tension in the air is palpable.

20 wins in our last 26. it would take an implosion for us to drop out of top five.

Due to adverse denpressure?

I'm fairly confident but big Joe will be a miss if he's out for our last four games. That said, even without him, we should win our remaining home games and Chelsea have to play Forrest which (aside from our games) is the key game in run in. Just a pity the red dippers have already won the league as I can Chelsea getting a win against them now. Forest away to Palace though isn't an easy one so hopefully they'll drop points there. It's very likely going to the wire and it'll be squeaky bum time on the 25th.

Snapchat actually

I see nothing but piss, piss everywhere. A fucking piss Tsunami. Thats what 50 years of following NUFC does for you.

Best not PM (or DM!) him for tips on reverse parking, however.

He's not even the best midfielder on Merseyside. If I was Szoboszlai, I'd be insulted.

I see Chelsea properly choking. I can't see them getting anything from either Liverpool or us and I think home advantage might work in Forest's favour on the final day.

I didn't read the article cos it was on some bullshit aggregator, but the headline I saw yesterday was that Mitchell is planning to do some business in June to capitalise on clubs that need to sell to avoid PSR issues.

PM? Showing your age their ewerk, it's all about the DM these days. 👍

That sounds fucking lovely. Itd be great if we're coming into a window where we have money to spend and theres teams desperate to do business to avoid a penalty. Time for us to take the piss like we had done to us last year. Hopefully. Time to sell Odysseus for 50m to some fucker.

PM Dr. Gloom if you want tips on how to embarrassingly act half your age.

Heading into Manchester for my first meeting with my team. They're all relative kids, nearly as bad as my last job. When I started posting on this forum I was their fucking age! Where has the time gone?! Me in an hour.

They also have a designated keeper impeder/fouler which the ref spotted a few times.

That red arrows shit that they pulled for the disallowed goal was hilarious. Nearly all of them were offside when the ball came in.