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What's going on with the left arm and hand? The arm is simultaneously bent forwards and backwards and the hand looks like one of those wooden things you dip in honey. Is it intentional that he looks like a plodding kid rather than a lean 6ft+ footballer. Does he have a rats tail? The number reeks of the dregs of the squad, which is actually a useful distraction from the awful attempt at stripes. Has the shadowey kid just thrown in the ball from the middle of the field, or is he preparing to catch it and storm off in a huff because the other kids aren't passing it? Or was it an attempt at a rabona that has sent the ball flying into orbit? Is one of the other kids wearing a fedora and suffering from dance fever? What's going on with the portion of the stadium? Otherwise it's bloody brilliant.

Rwanda deterrent latest.

How do these people manage to keep going for more than a single window? Its so blatantly all made up

The fucking gall of that shyster

Bit of a drama old boy. I'm a cunt!

I mean, I get the sentiment, but there are tons of top quality tattoo artists in the North East. He's gonna need a Messi stype coverup

If she doesn't breath out soon she's not going to be giving anyone else shit tattoos...

he should have gone full steve o

I'm trying to train my dog to play the trumpet on the London Underground. Progress is good - he's gone from barking to tooting in less than an hour.

Well, its really bad, which is quite funny. Fair enough if, as you say, hes designed it himself but any self-respecting (and worth their salt) artist wouldn't have just transposed that onto his arm looking like that, its awfully done.

at ease lads - he's staying.

Christ lads, he's a kid, he got a tattoo, so fucking what

He's the perfect example of nothingness in human form, written to him twice over time, got same email cut and paste response both times.

That’s the fella

Is that the one that looked like Clarence Boddicker on his leaflet, and had (corbyn) written next to Labour?

Ian Levy? Set to lose by a country mile the newly created seat of Cramlington and Killingworth. He sent some stuff out a while back that made ridiculous promises (actually let’s call them what they are - lies) about the local funding he would secure if Tory councillors got in at these elections. It made fucking mental reading. Can you think of someone with less influence in Westminster than one of single term ‘red wall’ Tories? He’s not even controversial or particularly offensive. Just another Johnson arselicker set to become a nobody again.

As if any 18 year olds have given up on their dreams. It took me until my 40s ffs.

Apart from it looking like it was written by a Thalidomide with its tongue hanging out, I'm confused by the message in the context of the bearer. It's not like he was plucked from Greenwich in his 20s like Ian Wright; the cunt played Champions League football at an age when I was scamming the further education system for grants to put me through my driving lessons.

I’ve done worse

Or half a shandy if you're MF.

Yeah, as long as he likes it then thats all that matters. And let's be honest, if his career tanks he has done something absolutely special for his age. It would be interesting to see how it goes down when he signs for Norwich in 2 years though.

He has been most of the season by the looks of it Plus Ten Pence