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These are averages though- if you factor in the first blushes of romance and the related shagathons, then the “ go to the bathroom and DIY” when said partner can’t be arsed towards the end of the marriages, three seems about right. You’re making the assumption it’s always with a woman, Vincent Vanilla. Even if you massage the figures , you’re in your Gran for way longer.

Can someone contradict me here if I say this is probably good for us? #unqualifiedopnion 🤷🏻‍♂️

I think if our scintillating forward line hasn’t ripped these a new one after an hour then we might win it from the bench

Hall, Tino and Wilson on the bench. We've seen worse this season.

No Olise for them is a bonus.

You’re also making the assumption that the three times a week is with the same woman.

Wilson on the bench. First 11 unchanged.

three times a week, I’d wager, is rather overstating things

Carol's bits. (Bits!) Always believe in her shaved bits Just as impressive as her tits It's indestructible Always believe in Carol's bits, (bits!) Etc, etc.

Carrying on this fascinating topic… The average marriage/long-term relationship in the Uk lasts 12.9 yrs. If we say that sexy time is three times a week, on average, and that you’re actually inside your partner for 5 minutes each session , on average, that means you’re inside for 15 minutes a week. Over the 12.9 yrs, that’s 10,062 minutes, or 6.98 days. Let’s call it a week that you’re inside your partner in total. The female reproductive system, including ovaries and eggs, is fully formed at 20 weeks in a normal pregnancy, meaning that we are all inside Granny for waaaay longer (20 weeks), than we are inside our chosen partner*

A housemaid went into a hotel room after knocking and getting no reply, whlist in the room Ms Vorderman (countdown days) appeared from the bathroom. Aforesaid housemaid was friends with an acquaintance of mine and he took great delight in telling everyone that Ms Vorderman shaved her bits.

Her arse would play everyone onside st the other end

Slightly on-topic, but, since every woman is born with every egg she’ll ever produce already formed, this means that the eggs must’ve been there before her birth. Which means that everyone, even non-mackems, has spent time inside their Granny.

Vorderman would have no chance of surviving a marginal var call with those norks

The Gary Goalgasm.

No, they thoroughly deserved it on account either emanating from Charles sack, being on the end of stuff emanating from his sack, or being married to the stuff that emanated from his sack and producing extra stuff that emanated from stuff that originally emanated from his sack. There's sacks of reasons.

Call me cynical but I'm sensing some nepotism here.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-68882308 Well deserved.

Mrs Neville recognises that particular Gary Neville moan.