Howmanheyman

Sarah: "So what's your stalker called?" Stefan: "LondonBlue. Yours?" Sarah: "PaddockLad."

The mackem giving it the 1-0 to the camera wearing the same hat as the wo/man at their ground who lost their shit offering mags on after the derby win then Onion trying to be the hard man by sitting/rubbing his sack on the Leeds keeper before the comeback. They never learn.

Surely there's some sort of compromise the doctor could make with you? Maybe just one sausage with cooked tomato instead of bacon in wholemeal bread?

[Whistles].....LTA! You're on! (Oh, wait).

Watched the Brian v Maggie show, worth watching for Coogan's Walden voice and the world in action theme tune alone. All the bother of Howe, Heseltine and Lawson caused back then to Thatcher when you compare it to recent times and the shit that was going on in the same party which was almost ignored or avoided by refusing interviews or hiding in fridges. Different world.

Leeds damn Leeds damn Leeds, who the fuck are Leeds? Jokes, Leeds.

US TV colour was always all over the shop back then.

Is it an ugly baby? @wykikitoon

To almost quote Don King, the chances of me watching that video are slim to none and Slim's just left town.

This commentator loves to pronounce 'Barella' as if he's Rihanna.

Ciao! Juventus v Inter Milan has just kicked off on TNT.

Would. I'm sure Madame Tussaud would take it as the ultimate compliment.

That yank, not you Rents.

I didn't realise worms could write? Grovelling, snivelling cunt.

Hojlund has a tame back pass shot which the keeper could've threw his hat on, Drury: "HOJLUND!!!"

I swear to god, carragher and Neville do more Liverpool and Man U games than John Anderson does NUFC ones.

Just saw the camera watching the players warming up at Tottenham and there must've been about twenty/thirty far eastern spurs fans all together behind the player some with their cameras out. I'm sure they all live just off the Seven Sisters road and have been Spurs fans all their lives and have randomly ended up sitting next to each other.

"I would welease Woderwick the wight winger then welease Woger the wight back."

My main concern for this game would be them just giving us the ball and hitting us on the break as our players go hell for leather trying to make amends for yesterday.

The man who would be king (in the canteen), Alan Pardew, was the last manager to win down there but it doesn't count apparently as it wasn't in the hallowed PL.

We never do down there.