Howmanheyman

Northumbrian Piper. (Colostomy job).

"You..... fat...... Bastard."

No. He meant to say a 'Bamp's quid' Andy Gray, (pictured), likes this.

I thought he looked half decent early on, but unlike CT on a slimmingworld weigh-in, he was just too lightweight.

"Rrrrroger that, BigWalrus, This is Admin, you are clear to flounce off in T-minus 10....9....8.....7......6......5.....4......3......2......1.......Flounce off!!!!" "That's one small click for Admin, one giant leap for a large Walrus."

'stool chart' Fly sits on a turd, fly already on it says, "sorry mate, this stool's taken".

Pinstripe stockings? Whatever floats your dinghy.

It was mammoth. But not bloody.

Launched a type II class U Boat on Sunday via my arsehole. It needed dismantled before the third flush despatched it into the North Sea.

On the bright side, one less excuse to peddle for Pardew/Charnley etc on behalf of Mike.

Didn't see last night but three late goals seems a bit karma. Have a tiny bit of sympathy as like PL I've met a few decent scousers on my travels. The gloryhunters from all corners of Britain can fuck off though.

Lovely. Can they do one on the man who employs him now?

"What's In your head? in your he-e-e-ed? Zanetti, Zanetti, Zaneti-ee-ee-ee-ee, ar-har-hey-yah."

First it was.... Then it was...... Now it's......

This is OLIVER HOLT...... "Blah, blah, City, blah, blah, United, blah, blah Mourinho, blah, blah Arsenal etc, how'd you like my alice band by the way?" This is CHRIS HOLT..... ".....And this demonstrates Pardew's 33% losses after the initial purchase of the players but before they've been Pardewed which adds a further 8.9% to the 33%, thus."

">Did the one on the left get an electric shock?

#spoiltbyalanpardew/leeClark/chrishughton/michaelo'neill

In life I was Budgie I should've been free I was captured in the jungle And sold to CT My life was shortlived And let it be said When your owner gets bored, your pet ends up dead. RIP The Budgie

Sure we can call Pardew but surely the player has to take responsibility.

Small club syndrome to be honest, can't make their minds up on their shirt.

And Lee Clark was a fan of his too.

Thanks Shane.