Jimbo

I seem to have far too many "oh fuck" moments for one person, but one that stands out is when I was driving up to Newcastle from Suffolk to see us play Barcelona, 2000 ? anyway I'm just about where I meet the A1 around Leicester, when I hear a loud pop from my engine and suddenly my acceleration is really sluggish but I carry on regardless, by the time I'm at Scotch Corner its got a whole lot worse, I'm supposed to be staying with a friend in Penrith, so I turn down the A66, by this time I'm limited to 20 miles an hour and there is a plume of black smoke coming from the back of my car that resembles the Buncefield oil refinery explosion, there is a line of cars behind me that almost stretches to the horizon, no one can overtake due to the acrid black smoke funneling out of my exhaust pipe. I get to my friends house and stay the night, the following day he drives me to Newcastle where I hang out with the Danish supporters club who have got me a ticket, after the game my friend picks me up and we drive back in his car back to his house, I get up first thing in the morning for the drive back to Suffolk, I say my good byes to my friend and begin what would be a long long day.... I figured my car was probably still undriveable but I'm a fucking idiot so I try anyway, I got about 5 miles and thought enough was enough, the smoke was back and I think my speed was in single figures, its time I called the RAC, so I'm on the side of the road next to what should have been my white Ford Escort Estate, but looked like it had been joy-ridden and burnt out due to the soot that covered the back 3rd of the car, I wait a good hour for a RAC patrol vehicle and takes one look under the bonnet and tells me I'll need towing back home, oh joy. He calls for a recovery vehicle which again takes an hour to arrive, this isn't an RAC truck, this is some local recovery firm that has a contract with the RAC, I tell the driver how far I need to go and his face drops like a pan of hot shit, I've obviously ruined his day, he gets my smoldering wreck on the back of his truck and off we go, he's so pissed off he can't even bother with small talk, I'm gazing out of the window wondering what stupid time of the night I'll end up getting back home when there is a crash and clatter from the truck, we look at each other in shock and in unison look in the wing mirrors to see the exhaust pipe of the recovery vehicle clatter down the slow lane of the A1. Without the exhaust pipe the truck sounds like something from Mad Max, we hastily pull over on the hard shoulder and the lad calls his boss and explains what has happened, after about 10 mins he apologizes and informs me that another truck is on its way, and that my car will by transferred to the next truck and I'll be on my way soon, I try and laugh it off and find a bush on the side of the A1 to take shelter in. Another hour goes by and the next truck is finally here, my car is taken off the first truck and put on the back of the 2nd, all seems well when I hear an "oh fuck" I peer out of the bush to see both drivers pointing to a growing puddle of oil under the new truck, great, the sump has a leak and the contents of the engine are now dribbling down the A1. More apologies follow and some more red faced phone calls back to the boss, who apparently has the genius plan of getting one of the secretaries to go buy an exhaust pipe and bring it to the truck on the hardshoulder of the A1 where these two loons will attempt to fit it....... 2 hours later a secretary arrives in a Ford Fiesta with about 6 feet of exhaust pipe poking out of the window, the two drivers then climb under the truck and attempt to fit it, but judging by the throwing of spanners and swearing, they seem to be having problems. After spending what seems like an eternity sitting in my bush, wondering what evil I must have done in a previous life to deserve such bad luck, the driver walks up to me and tells me that despite their best efforts, they can't fix the exhaust with the new one, apparently every thing is rusted solid and they can't shift any of the nuts and bolts with their 8" adjustable spanner, but the good news is that with some old rags, a coat hanger and some cable ties, they have made a temporary joint on the old pipe and we can continue on our way, so we do that, we continue the 200 and something miles back to suffolk in a truck cab full of fumes and at grand speed of 40 miles an hour, I eventually get back home something close to midnight, the driver gets my car off the back of his truck and seems to be hovering for a tip, you've got to be kidding I think to myself, the only tip I'd give his is to next time, make sure your truck isn't about to fall apart before you leave for a job.

Suazo was linked to a move to Houston Dynamo last week, can't see it personally.

Captain Monica Rawling: Let me guess - you're either with Vic Mackey or you're against him. Vic Mackey: Keeps things simple. The Shield

Not quite Christmas deep in the heart of Tex-Ass but merry christmas one and all ! I'm just off out to shoot some Mexicans, Remember the Alamo !

There maybe an element of truth in that statement.

Current: Iniesta Retired: Roberto Baggio and Ronaldo.

In the spirit of masturbation, I'm voting for myself.

If it's not me I'm deleting my account !

good stocking filler; http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/natu...recipes/5198959 Perfect, I've been looking for an extra little something for the Mrs this Christmas.

Holy Shit

I say again ragged fibre I am but a husk.....

Jose Enrique on Twitter: Everyone really happy with the new manager. we training hard now and we practice a lot tacticli. Very good

This weeks Football Ramble podcast.

Happy Birthday !

Doesn't he have a Spanish villa called Cassa St James' that he bought with the money from his contract pay off ? What next ? a conservatory ?

Shearer to Blackburn ?

Just for a change Jimbo? Just if I happened to be an Admin....... you know ?

I'd sit around masturbating all day........

Just to make it official

It was a cracking fight, Khan has come a long way, he did well to survive at the end, a while back he'd have got pummeled.

Happy Birthday !

http://www.yfrog.com/froggy.php?username=Josenufc3

Yes, since October.