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Tottenham Court Road's the stop you'd want for G-A-Y at the Astoria, now that you mention it...

Well you should definitely have time for some nosh between the matinee and evening shows if they're that close together (EDIT: distance-wise, I mean). So long as you're prepared to remortgage your house if you're going to eat anywhere around Covent Garden.

The Hilton website seems to reckon there's a courtesy bus to/from Canada Water tube station every 15 minutes. Canada Water will take you just over 20 minutes from Kings Cross if things run smoothly (Northern Line to London Bridge then change to the Jubilee), then the same again back to Tottenham Court Road, so it'd be cutting it a bit fine but I reckon it's doable...

Tottenham Court Road to Covent Garden is no bother at all, you can walk it in 10-20 minutes depending on what end of TCR you're starting from. Not convinced your hotel is particularly near a Tube station so that bit could be more of a problem if you're reliant on public transport. Are you?

Oh aye, never liked the fella much. I seem to remember his reaction to the event was to rattle on at length about how offended he and his family were, then adding as an afterthought "it might have offended gay people too". No shit.

Ahh yes, who could forget Robbie Fowler's display of the finest sophisticated Scouse humour?

The Magnetic Fields - 69 Love Songs

how many people on here said he was the "next bright manager" ... Everyone on here said Christian Gross would win the Champions League with Spurs too, even though this place didn't actually exist yet. THAT'S how wrong everyone except you always is.

Aye, it's a pretty decent area, used to have mates in adjacent streets. Always bizarre when something like this happens right under your nose.

knows far too much about the tastes of random Aussies

Ee, that's my old stomping ground and all. Wonder what happened...

He should have put his hand up and asked to go like any normal kid. Now teacher'll have to get the sawdust out.

Picked up a bunch of stuff in Serbia for 90p a pop. Slimline, no-feature versions of films "for the collection", basically. Kill Bill and the like.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio4/comedy I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue is back.

I want to slap her so bad.

Happy Birthday there fella.

8 points off the leaders isn't too bad. True. I think it's more like 14 though? Either way, seven draws in the first twelve games says it all really.

"Strong language and sexual references throughout." Sky's TV guide, the masters of understatement as ever.

I had a superbly irrational fear of that game on The Price Is Right where you have to get the mountaineer to the peak of the mountain without falling off the other side. I just couldn't stay in the room and watch it. I have no idea why.

Mainz are so fucked. (Hamburg ain't looking too grand either.)

Yep, but now imagine the taste of it when it would be put in a tin... Gepwnt.

I miss AC/DC Man from the Mayfair. They'd stick on an Acca Dacca track early doors, before the place properly filled up, and he'd do this manic half-skip, half-run around the dancefloor whilst playing air guitar and doing the vinegar-strokes axe-solo grimace. For the entire song. We gave him a round of applause once and he stared us out as if he was going to kill us.

When your national dish is seasoned innards, sawdust and floor scrapings fashioned into a phallic shape and wrapped in skin, I'd say that gives you precious little room for debate.

The Beavis & Butt-head and South Park movies were even better than the series that spawned them, so I'm hopeful, though I suppose there's a far bigger body of work to live up to in this case. EDIT: Mind, nothing should ever dare take on the sheer comedy cheese of Hot Shots: Part Deux's Iraq-and-a-hard-place gag.