catmag

Am I the only one drinking?

Jarmies on and a glass of sparkle in hand. Hope the new year is good to you all x

*Totters off in high heels and very small nurses uniform with boobs spilling out....* Oh dear If that doesn't solve your shrinking cock you're done for. Shhh, don't tell him that I normally wear scrubs

Could be patella tendonitis if it's just below your kneecap.

*Totters off in high heels and very small nurses uniform with boobs spilling out....*

Anytime my lovely. On my night off aswell!!

Have you not got a tape measure? I'm curious now. One of the whizzy ones where you try and hold the little metal bit under your toe whilst you measure your height....

Just sounds like good old diarrhoea. As you say - probably from over-indulging.

Are you puking?

Mine is crackers. If anyone didn't read the story of how she brought me a present from Harvey Nichols and it ended up being window cleaner - that's just the start of it. The second time she brought me a HN little package, it ended up being jam.

Flu, cold and gastroenteritis. All over the place, affecting lots of people. That's about as specific as it gets. Oh, and some kids will have chicken pox, and lots of people will have hangovers,

Stupid fucking hair..

No sauce in the house. Branston pickle on sausage sarnies? Thoughts?

Someone needs to tell young lads that Shredded wheat hair looks absolutely ridiculous. It's not meant to be combed forward from the back of your head and despite trying to brush it forward with spit every 5 minutes, by the end of the day it will just go back to where it's naturally meant to be. The elasticated ankles/canvas shoes combo also makes me despair. I thought I was lucky having a son instead of a daughter growing up in an increasingly image-conscious world but I can see that I still have my work cut out. His favourite t-shirt has Rex from Toy Story on it at the moment so I might be okay...

Even I'M not working NYE this year, you loser Yeah, but you'll be looking after a small child, whereas I'm not allowed to, ever since... the incident. Understandable.. He sleeps from 8pm til 8am so he'll hardly be spoiling our plans. I'm likely to be doing cheese/wine/crap telly just like JawD.

Done, despite your lack of manners!

Even I'M not working NYE this year, you loser

This.

Mildred Bagley George Florence

That cat is just misunderstood

There's all kinds of crap in here but most of it has been sitting on tables for the best part of 24hrs so it's all a bit scabby. The dips have seen better days and I don't do nuts.

I've been eating mini-cheddars all night and I feel a bit sick now.

You wouldn't like, fucking depressing. It's not great like. I know it's what I signed up for by doing nursing but I've still whinged like fuck about it every year for the last 13 years. The worst year was when I was newly qualified, living in manc and was on the early shift Christmas morning starting at 7am. My mam phoned the ward about 9am to wish me a happy christmas and at that exact moment the local salvation army band turned up and started to play Silent Night. I cried for hours

Darrel, thank you for everything.

Happy birthday baby Jesus. Thanks for being born so we can have presents. Happy christmas Paddy xx