Dr Kenneth Noisewater

Not seen much of Maloney, but I think Kris Boyd from Rangers would be of more use to us. Scores plenty of goals, but Le Guen keeps dropping him.

Is that next thursdee? My Christmas avatar won't be coming out until the first sunday in December, traditional me like.

A credit for Pud and a link to this place would be nice.

True. At least all the teams round us lost today.

I get my back waxed every month. Lasses are soft as sh*te. Back, crack and sack?

Fair enough. Good cause, awful tv.

No good asking him now Wykiki, he only posts office hours. It's Mark from Battle of the Planets I believe.

You want to go to Shottingham, burglary capital of the UK? The story about it having the highest ratio of lasses to blokes is just a myth you know.

No sympathy from Warnock either. Sounds nasty, will it grow back?

I expect they'll put that on the back as one of the reviewswhen it comes out in paperback.

Gave my mum a lift to Northallerton this afternoon and whilst I was waiting for I ended up buying a new car.

6:35 first wank of the day I think you'll find he fitted one in between 12:00 and 12:10

Does it dig in when you answer the phone?

Shameful tbh

Had a flick through the Legends book in Waterstones today, looked alright. Might do as a christmas present for someone.

Combi Boilers, £1000-1500

Stainless steel watch (or matbe the gold one I got for my 21st for special occasions), silver curb chain (always under shirt, tshirt, jumper etc) but Mrs N has had that in her jewellery box for sometime and very rarely a silver bracelet that matches the chain.

Noelie's team looks about right. Or you could try Duff and Nobby at fullbacks. The Bernard situation just keeps becoming more embarrassing.

Not recently.

No, tonsilolliths. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tonsil_stones

Those nasty white lumps you sometimes get on your tonsils when you've had a cold or sore throat. I've just had an unpleasant taste in my mouth and coughed up one the size of a baked bean. I'm both impressed and disgusted with myself.

There was (and indeed still is) something very creepy about Jimmy Saville

Do the lasses match their bra to the top they're wearing or to their knicks when co-ordinating?

Photoplopped tbh.