Dr Kenneth Noisewater

Penny for Alan Shearers thoughts? If he was an animal the RSPCA would be involved.

Clicky Here we go again. Is the momentum with us for outplaying them for four days or with the crims for saving the game?

I know a Scouser who reckons when they sold him they put in a clause that they could buy him back for £11million. He also reckons Liverpool are still owed a £3mil installment on the original fee.

"The chairman is fucking me up the arse but if I can grin and bear it til Sunday I'll get a dirty great pay-off"

Bolton only had 16 fit players and had a striker playing left back.

Tell him to put his business up for sale and get away from it all. I hear Spanish brothels are nice at this time of year. He is clearly out of his depth and everyday he is there his company will slide further into the shit.

Tonight my favourite saying has been "what a shower of fucking shite" Tomorrow it will be "convict bastards"

You've been ripped off, I got mine at The 99p Store.

Jessica Simpson is not a patch on the 'real' Daisy. I've heard the film is gash as well.

God, how exciting were those times? Happy days, that what I'm clinging to although it seems a million miles away now.

Burn Baby, Burn

Stick the other filter on that and you'll stop getting disconnected from the net when you use the phone.

You need one for every phone extension socket in your house. (Phones, faxes, Sky digibox etc). If you have more than two sockets you'll need to buy extra filters.

As the majority shareholders, who would sack them? Agree with the sentiment though.

Did you know it means 'progress through engineering'?

You can get them in Tescos, only a few quid.

The things you plug into your phone sockets so you can split the adsl and telephone lines. I had tiscali at my old house for a few years no probs at all. Just gone back to them at my current place and seems ok although it does occasionally disconnect for some unknown reason. Can't really knock them for value though. I was on 512k with 30gb download limit for £14.99 and i've just had an email telling me they are scrapping the limits. Think I've had a free speed upgrade too.

A touch of class Peasepud. But I'll want 10%

Can we have one that says 'Jesus Wept' on the front and 'Quoted For Truth' on the back please?

Its an ex-deal. It has ceased to be.

The fat lazy fucker always starts well then free-wheels for the rest of the season.

What about the fuckers who don't indicate properly at roundabouts? Sorry to go on about it but I want to force them off the road and smash their indicators and/or heads in.

My parents had a dog like that. It would eat balloons and rubber bands for some reason. I still have the image in my head of my Dad trying to poke a shit-covered balloon out of its arse with a stick

You're right, he didn't run away. I just made that bit up for comic effect. He lived a long and happy life before being taken to the vet and put down.