Ayatollah Hermione

Ten Hag has certainly transformed Man Utd. When he took over, they were only getting beat 4-0

Luke Shaw has had a proper Jamal Lewis of a half here

Immediately after their captain demanded to be subbed off What a great mindset you have amongst your player, captain fucking turtleneck

Thank god they wasted that time in the first 20 minutes (learned after we invented it), it could have been an embarrassing result

4 solid months of being propped up by one player and influencing refs all crumbled in one afternoon by a team of genuine quality. Fucking lovely

“Destined for greatness” according to Gary Neville after last week. I agree, this has been great

Top 4 is gone now so I’m just enjoying this immensely. I heard people saying Man Utd could be on for a quadruple

Strange how this has been in the post for weeks with Man Utd but Baldy is apparently the heir to the modern days most successful manager? Can someone join those dots

Oh aye, now Man Utd turn to shit

Exactly the same here It was almost as boring as our twice-a-year day out to the Discovery Museum

Seeing Colback and Shelvey together again gave me memories of going down to Blackburn, right around New Year and seeing us lose 1-0 with them two playing for us and it being the coldest I’ve ever been in my life. Lancashire football grounds are definitely their own micro climate of Antarctic standard

Just said the same there. I think it’s even funnier that he’s arguably keeping Lingard out the side

Essential that we beat these and Forest going into the international break tbh. I shall accept no excuses

That’s just unlocked a memory of our school taking us on a trip to the Sunderland Glass Centre I can’t remember if it was primary or secondary but I do remember it being shit

It’s certainly possible to imagine that. Just like a lot of other completely impossible situations are possible in the land of pure imagination. Like 90% of the stories on there, for instance

Yet another fanbase that are worse than shite because they had the cheek to celebrate their team beating Sunderland

Surely they should be praising him for leaving so the manager that has them playing world class football could come in? Except for when they get beat 5-1 at home. Or something

Arsenal in the 97th minute. How many were originally added on?

Probably a valid tactic tbf. Complain enough and those silly cunts in the VAR booth will probably convince themselves that something is worth giving

1-5 They’ll have spent all week imagining the complete opposite as well

Dwight Gayle scored their 4th before the poor Sky reporter had even started describing Sunderland’s 1st Magedia at it again

Palace staring down another defeat. Can’t be long until they blink and sack Howard from the Halifax. I’m sure plenty of pundits will try and say he’s been doing an amazing job though

The “next level” from where we were when he arrived was Top 8 and he’s done it in half a season

Nah, Howe is finished. Never mind the fact that we’re creating buckets of chances and going toe to toe with everyone, it’s all gone sour. The Saudis won’t be pleased

The Pep Patronising Minute