Ayatollah Hermione

I really hope that stat gets brought up again because, not only are we going to survive, we’re going to blitz beyond that in a way that has made a very mockery of THE NARRATIVE itself

Has looked good playing with Bruno and a rejuvenated Krafth recently. Hard to see a way for Fraser back in atm

Thought Schar was outstanding tonight, mind. I would still say we need a stronger crop of centre halves in general but him and Burn have got the job for next season, at least

More wins in 4 month than Palace have all season

Eddie Howe Manager of the Millennium

Maybe Willock for Joelinton for some more legs in the middle. Especially with Joelinton hitting the deck earlier

If we happen to be 1-0 up against Liverpool with 10 minutes left, I’m all for Wood going to centre half

Eddie Howe truly has Roy Keane’s best mate sussed here. Ultimate insult to your shite management is when you have to make a sub in the first half because Matt Targett is having his fucking life

Right, everyone was banging on about nobody ever surviving on the points we had at Christmas so if 17th was unprecedented, what the fuck would top half be?

Wood saved by the flag there, Jesus

Refuse to give him a contract but incentivise him with one, only to refuse it at the last minute. Really assume our role as chief bastards of the football world

Desperately trying to cosy back up after he turned us down last year, I see.

Great seeing Man United this shit. They don’t have a defender as good as Trippier and don’t have a midfielder as good as Bruno. Be gone to the dustbin of football history, Manchester Reds. We shall take your place

Can’t think of anyone I particularly despise in this Palace team so I’m looking forward to discovering someone tomorrow night

I wonder if he actually gives it an honest attempt for the first few weeks, sees its not going to work and then just decides to have the patience to wait for the compo

He might be Howe’s biggest success yet tbh. Neck and neck with him and Joelinton anyway. Past few weeks he’s been very good and it’s good to see him having the confidence to actually join the attacks these days

If they go up this season, I’d be tempted to keep him there for the first 6 month of the season at least. He’s like a pig in shit down there and something Barton is doing or saying is clearly working for him

Was it Plymouth that played We Are The Champions when we sealed the title down their place? Even though our win relegated them?

If mental gymnastics was a sport, these would be the undefeated world champions

Can anyone top this slice of celeb spotting?

What a fucking boy Bruno is but give Joe Willock freedom of Greggs for that run. What a belter. You could tell it was an Easter miracle because Shelvey actually made a couple of tackles without being wildly late for a change

Hangover update: Cried watching his celebration

Looks shite

Back in the days where people actually had the lack of common sense to let me play music in pubs, I used to play You’re The Dog by Irma Thomas on the regular That chord change to the 7th is excellent

Great close control there. When you’re doing kick ups, one of the touches is supposed to spin 5 yards away