Ayatollah Hermione

Lejeune and Lascelles played really well together in a back four a couple of seasons ago. Lejeune’s problem is that his two bad injuries have probably knackered him

To be fair, at this point, Seydiou Doumbia is probably worth more

Selling Diangana at the drop of a hat to a Premier League rival is pure Ashley. Especially 4 days before the start of the season with no replacement except a wantaway Felipe Anderson. I can’t say I’m that gutted like

To be fair, we’re having a better window that West Ham but that’s hardly a difficult hurdle to clear

Not to mention Joelinton would even walk into their side and score as evidenced by him scoring against their sort of tinpot shite in the cups

We've had similar outlays before but they've usually been on dogshit from France or Belgium. This time, it's more optimistic because we're getting players we've all actually seen.

at Danny Graham. Looks the disgraced bassist in some shit indie band

Anyone see the Sun’s front page about the Diana musical going on Netflix?

You can’t be going around blaming young lads for taking their chance to shag some Icelandic tarts ffs. The game is on its arse

Aye and Carroll should have been away if not for that bizarre extension he got (I assume he was cheap). I reckon we need another striker, even on loan, on top of Wilson. A version of Carroll who doesn’t concede a foul by elbowing centre halves in the chin every time he jumps would help.

Some manner of Turkish shite will take a few of them. They’re always good for that

There’s a few question marks with Wilson but on the whole, we needed a striker with a history of scoring in this league and we’ve got one so it’s hard to complain. If he doesn’t score a hattrick on Saturday, I will, though.

“THIS IS NOT THE NEW NORMAL!!!!!!!!!” is up there as my most hated phrase. It is until there’s a vaccine, shitlips so get your mask on, be slightly inconvenienced in Aldi and stop being a cunt.

Ashley has a history of waiting until January to sell our best player, just to fuck up any possible momentum our season has.

This ref

Wonder if Martin Tyler constantly rambles on about fuck all relevant in the house as well, fuck me

Mad seeing all those Tory war shaggers who think they’d offer up the ultimate sacrifice if it ever came round again, complaining about wearing a mask though.

I bring you people black Barnesy and this is the thanks I get.

That’s my thought too. Fraser hasn’t kicked a ball since March, for one

Luckily we’ve had great luck with Brazilians so this’ll be great.

Hey lads, does anyone know if the scrubbers next door can use the slip and slide without a COVID test? All bollocks anyway isn’t it?[/CT]

Please stop reminding me that Gene Wilder died on my birthday 4 years ago. A birthday that you all missed last week BY THE WAY

How do you have an injury crisis 2 weeks into a pre-season after a 3 week break?

Makes me feel a bit more confident about beating Spain next year anyway. Lol at there being a player called “Fatty” though

Anyone want to see a black Alan Barnes? Thought so