Ayatollah Hermione

You’d think Almiron and Fraser will have too much pace for them to cope with but then again, it is us.

Sorry to hear about your dad, MF. A truly shit situation with regards to visiting these days so I hope you can see him as much as possible.

Jacob Murphy to put 5 chances on a plate for Joelinton. One will get put away

Probably. Providing you can prove that you’re off to blast some foxes in the face with a double-barrelled shotgun on the way

Deportivo Wanka

How fucking hungover is he there, man? Complete with a bit of a comedown

You love to see it

Plenty of neighbours I’ve had will relish being a Government grass tbh.

All charvas have asthma and that’s just a fact. It’s why they ride BMXs everywhere

I think, with the rise in cases, the league needs to end now with all positions taken as final

Sure enough, first thing he did was give a foul away

Not think wrapping the title up with 8 games to spare might have contributed to them easing off a bit?

I agree but I’m just softening the blow now

Probably the right time to play these what with their captain openly kicking off about what a shitshow they are so we’ll definitely make hard work of it

I still can’t look past Liverpool tbh. They were that commanding and nobody has done a lot to convince me they’ll catch them. A lot of people writing them off is because they haven’t bought players but do they really need any?

15th as we struggle to get any sort of fluent attacking play thanks to Shelvey braying the ball over their heads 8 times out of 10

Everyone seems to be cock-a-hoop over Hayden and while I accept he’s handy, he should have had an improvement in front of him years ago

The least believable thing about all of this is that Shelvey would get skinny fries

I think it’s obviously someone connected somewhere down the line since a lot of what they say seems genuinely accurate. If it’s Charnley, it might explain his usual incompetence in the transfer market

John Terry wife stealing jokes? My god, I’m back in 2010. I must warn everyone of the Coronavirus

Fucking cheek of this baldy gobshite calling anything or anyone ‘tedious’

Operation Moonshot ffs. Operation Moonshine, it should be called since it’s obviously come tumbling out of that fat alcoholic shithouse’s candy floss brain

Steve Wraith is RACIST for not having any minority representation on his cringeworthy “Ladies Night” pass it on

Joelinton linked with a loan to Fenerbache. Is there any precedent for a £40 million signing moving on loan to Turkey the next season?

I’d have it dusted before the late kick off. Not sure wor lass would appreciate me bouncing off the walls either but I’ll have my fun and that’s what matters