Ayatollah Hermione

I saw somebody mention the Leipzig approach who, I believe, pumped obscene money into coaching, scouting and a state-of-the-art training facility and acquired a load of affiliates all over the world to pick up their best young players. Less spending on big names and more just establishing a machine behind everything. It wouldn't surprise me if they very quickly built an expensive new training ground and academy. The one thing that should, at least, be very fucking obvious is that we should be hoovering up any young North Eastern player of any real quality whatsoever. Set up club-run 4G pitches all over the region, hold regular youth leagues and cast your eye over the talented ones. I'm not sure if any old fucker can fund football in schools but donating a load of top-notch football gear to schools seems an obvious idea as well.

Never mind that, Nikos Dabizas is in the looking for Director of Football

Our place will be the ones supplying it to doctors and hospitals so you can absolutely add another 6 weeks onto whatever time scale it is, the hopeless cunts. But I will be selling them on the black market, if anyone is interested.

Their desperation for statements is probably directly related to having to write 15 shitty articles a day for their malware ridden websites.

Jay Jay Sea was salt of the earth, man.

Howay has been on the red meat in lockdown

I got 24 cans of Galahad and I’ve already dusted two off when making this chilli.

Over-compensating for something, I think.

Will be amazed if they immediately splash mental money around. Keith Downie seemed to imply that they were keen to pump money into the academy and training ground first before splashing out in the market.

Aye, if Rafa is coming back then getting shot of Carroll and bringing Rondon back to a blatant no-brainer

Aye, a lot of short memories. It's almost like, to be the best team in the league, you need to have the best players who tend to cost the most money.

I think we have to realise that this is coming from a place of pure jealousy tbh. Most human emotions boil down to something simple in the end and this lot are absolutely fucking gutted that it's us and now whoever it is they support.

The media will be calling our new lot worse than shite until they start granting them all access passes and we get a glowing Amazon documentary showcasing how brilliant we are.

This popped up on my shuffle today and I've been reminded how Clarence Clarity (listen to him) has been pumping out the best melodies of the last 5 years and that bang average Dua Lipa album is going double platinum.

The Mail is saying that Bruce will stay on in the interim as it would be "wrong" to sack him immediately. But, I'm assuming the real reason is that Rafa is going to cost £20 million to buy out of his contract.

Beat me to it The dejected "Oh" always gets me.

Steve McClaren - Rafa Benitez - Steve Bruce - Rafa Benitez has to be the most mental sequence of managers I think it’s possible to achieve. Could get whiplash from the differences in ability.

Independent says it should be done by the end of April and Keith Downie reckons it’s nailed on that they’ve approached Benitez to come back. its fucking happening

Absolutely no chance Lascelles is more of a waste than Shelvey. Yedlin is our worst footballer by some degree unless you count running fast as a skill.

Welcome, Erling.

That might as well say "What will happen to all of my sources if a #nufctakeover was completed?" Also, the grammar

It’s happening, man you just have a week or so to stock up on drink.