Ayatollah Hermione

Sky were trying to make out that Liverpool goal was a shot for a minute there

From this opening few weeks, there’s two top class sides and then eighteen others who can all take points off each other when they can be arsed. Once more, great value from the chaps at Barclays.

Worth remembering that “Carra” and Neville both wet the bed because of our set-up against Man City because they wanted goals to talk about. Fuck the pair of them.

It wasn't even an implication, it was fairly explicit.

Southgate has called up Wan-Bissaka, Maddison and Mount to the England squad. Can’t complain there but his roulette wheel to find Harry Maguire a friend has landed on Tyrone Mings I’m not Lascelles biggest advocate but he’s a hell sight better than a bloke who couldn’t get in BOURNEMOUTH’S defence over the last couple of seasons.

You're right. Instead, I'll blame him for our 20 million pound winger getting two hamstring injuries in 4 weeks and our 40 million striker coming off with tight calves after every game.

Thanks, bitch

Fuck me, the world has lost it's very mind. What's worse is that we have another decade of absolute fucking nonsense until the very weather itself forces us to recognise the real issues.

Rafa has been gone five minutes and the injuries are all piling up What is it about shit English managers and not paying any attention to fitness whatsoever? They must spend 45 minutes of every session doing beep tests.

Leicester to rotate their squad and beat us without breaking a sweat. Somehow, even Ian Nacho will score.

I fully expect him to go on the front foot against Watford and leave massive gaps for their attackers to play in. We’ll be the only team that hasn’t sussed them out.

Absolutely nothing on The Athletic needs to be written. Fair play to them for getting paid to indulge themselves and the fact it’s lauded as a high watermark for football journalism while offering staid mediocrity across the board shows how low a bar writers have to hurdle with this sport.

Fish loves Shakespeare. His favourite adaptation is Romeo and Juliet with Leonardo DiCaprio.

Mission ACCOMPLISHED

Surprised he hasn’t made a quick reference to 20 years ago in his post-match interview.

The local papers are an embarrassment, mind. Not a single challenge to any of Bruce’s asinine bullshit.

Talks a decent game up until match day. Where have we seen that before?

The last time I saw a Dell PC was when it was being pushed out of a second floor window at school.

My plan is to turn out at midday and immediately start drinking so I can’t even remember the match when I wake up on Monday.

Aye, the Bible is the one you wipe your arse with.

All games are tough when you’re shite.

I still say he’s sacked after Christmas when the shit properly hits the fan. And then it’s a quick phone call to Allardyce. I actually hope he takes us down to fuck with his “perfect” relegation record.

At least we've finally found what'll make him shut his stupid fucking mouth for five minutes.

I click this every time there's a new post, hoping it's Kirk Douglas but once more, he cheats death and, more importantly, me out of a point in my Death Pool.

Can’t imagine why he might be feeling the pressure, like.