Ayatollah Hermione

No spray, no lay

It is if you’re from West India

A 30 second video dedicated to our new signings headband and dance moves Also, lol at them desperately announcing players to get people through the door for the friendly tomorrow.

Welcome back, Fish.

We finally got him! Those photos make him look like a bloke on the stadium tour

Eh, he's class on the ball. He carries the ball over halfway better than all of their midfielders.

85 (Eighty Five) million for Harry Maguire, fuck me. If Leicester had any sense, they’d reinvest 15 million of it in Schar, get Vardy’s long term replacement sorted and then spend the rest on sweets.

Never fear, friends. He’s finally curing AIDs and cancer. Absolutely insane that people in these positions can just shit out a steady stream of complete bollocks and it’s perfectly fine. It’s like when you test the suspension on asking to leave early one day and then, after it works, you’re at it every other day.

Deano is currently doing that blokes garden and he fired off a quick snap in between trimming the hedges and lining up the gnomes in a 4-3-1-2

I started it last night and I'm enjoying it well enough. It seems like it's going to go to some weird places and that lass is a top-notch slab of supertrim.

Luckily, Graham Carr's eye for French wingers who can definitely hack the Premier League is unflappable.

I can't tell if this is a joke or not

The Championship clubs, for the most part, aren’t spending much money really. Forest and Brentford are going for it but the teams that would sign Gayle, aren’t going to shell out for him. It’s almost like we could have organised some kind of swap deal with West Brom that saw two successful loan signings made permanent...

A very quick reality check for Bruce

God bless Sheffield United for signing up a load of strikers who don’t score goals. Though, once more, we’re getting shown up by a newly promoted sides endeavour to sign players as we fuck about taking weeks to get two players in.

Should have got one of the new signings to model it. Oh wait:

The one thing that will probably get some fickle people buying up would be signing players and they won’t even do that properly

And the position we do need a player in, left back, is the one where we’ve put in “low-ball wage offers” Playing the master negotiator from a position of complete weakness is the Charnley way.

Two players who will probably never see the first team. Great.

The minute Rafa was gone, the story about Dubravka leaving started so it seems likely to me. Darlow back in nets will give me a constant dull thump of a headache. Wonder if he's learned how to shout for things yet.

We won’t pay £20 million for Bowen but we will pay it for one of Graham Carr’s special agency recommendations. Wonder why

It's one million quid a week. By the time Santa is on his sleigh, he'll have made 21 million quid. I'd have retired by the time Chinese New Year rolls around.

Gave Preston a fiver of my money because this kid is getting a second half run out. I'll be back with my scouting report. The things I do for this sub-par community

I'm sure that's the third time we've bid well under valuation for him. Surprised they haven't blocked our number.

1 million a WEEK. I bet he doesn’t even know who he’s playing for, just saw the money and agreed.